So after our discussion about birds and bees the other day, Baby A’s girlfriend randomly shows up at my front door. She’d never been here before and the only time I’ve ever seen her is at school functions like the boys’ basketball games or at a school play.
Anyhow, I answered the door and there she is. She asks if Baby A is home and I asked her to wait while I hollered for him. He comes barreling down the stairs like a stampede of wild buffalo and goes to the door. He steps outside for a minute and then comes back in and asks if she can come in. I was immediately skeptical. I had just gotten done discussing sex with both of my boys. Bad omen. Naturally, I started asking questions. Is she just coming in for a minute or is she wanting to stay awhile? What exactly do you two plan on doing? How did you know where I live? How did you get here?
In the midst of asking these questions, I see a busted-ass minivan pull out of the driveway and take off. That, evidently, was her step-dad.
Now we have problems. This guy just drops of someone else’s kid at my door and takes off as soon as she’s inside. That’s bad in many ways. First, he has no idea who I am. I could be a sex offender (I’m not but I’m a sexy offender – okay, not really, but I can dream, can’t I?) or some other psychopath that might hurt his wife’s daughter. Secondly, even if I’m not some serial rapist how does he know that I’ll supervise those two while she’s here? I could be just as negligent a parent as he is and just let them do whatever they want. Third, it’s just fucking rude to drop your kid off and run like that. I don’t know you and you don’t know me. You just don’t do that to people. I had no number to call in case of emergency. I had no idea what her parents names were and I still don’t.
So my anticipated afternoon of relaxation was not so relaxing. I had to consistently check-in on those two to make sure nothing illegal was going on (hey, I don’t know this girl) and I had no idea when or even if someone was coming to pick her up.
After a couple of hours had gone by I had just about had enough and was going to make her give me a phone number of someone I could call when suddenly a horn starts blowing annoyingly from my driveway. Before I know it, she’s out the door and gone.
Later I asked Baby A how she knew where we lived and he was at a loss. The only thing he could come up with is that they went to his mom’s house first, which is a block away, and got directions from her.
Needless to say, if she shows up on my doorstep again like some stray dog my ass is marching out to that busted-ass minivan and having a word with somebody. That shit doesn’t fly around here.