Let the Ranting Begin ~ A Baker’s Lament

[Editor’s Note: I’ve had plenty of guest bloggers here recently, but none of them were badass mercenaries.  This one is.  Rutabaga the Mercenary Researcher is just that.  And she is so competent at her job that she found me out on Facebook without much to go on.  She’s that good.

She and I have become fast friends and I’m extremely envious of her talent with written words.  I’m sure you will be, too.  As always, please visit her blog when you’re finished reading her masterpiece here and click the almighty FOLLOW button so you can have mercenary badassery delivered straight to your inbox.]

Um…well, here I am.  This is kind of weird for me. I’ve never been a guest-lamenter before.

You see, the other day I was talking with Twindaddy – well, letting him know that I was somewhat envious of the amount of content that zings around his massive brain and shows up on his blog.  So we had some back and forth about it – and I revealed that I have quite a bit zinging around my (less) massive brain as well, but my blog is not anonymous – so a lot of stuff that I want to write about, I sort of can’t… Well, I could – but I risk offending and possibly losing friendships/family relationships because of it.   Twindaddy, the epitome of a gentleman, offered up his space for my emotional purging.   How sweet and generous is that?  You know the answer – it’s pretty damn effin’ fine, is what it is.

So here I am.  Like I said – this is kind of weird.  It is one thing to fill up your own space with ‘trite’ but it’s a different ball o’wax to do it elsewhere.  I thank you Twindaddy and hope I can write something worthy of your Storm-trooper Awesomeness.

The Baker’s Lament

So here’s the deal, I’m a baker. I used to be a professional baker at a trendy hippie restaurant for several years; and now I bake as an avocation. I love to bring baked goods to any potluck and I often offer to make birthday cakes for my friends. I do it, not because I want to be the only one baking or basking in the glory of happy eaters, but because my friends do so much for me and this is how I can give something back to them.  I bake out of love and it brings me joy – on many levels.  And ok, I like basking in the glory of happy eaters!

However, I feel really sad and somewhat horrified when I hear people tell me that they don’t want to bring a baked item to a party or gathering I’m at because they feel I’m going to judge them or something. I have NEVER EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER made a disparaging remark about anyone’s baking – I love trying other creations from people.  I don’t care if you make it from a box or from scratch.  I love making baked goods and I love EATING baked goods.  There’s room in world for a multitude of bakers as far as I’m concerned.  And I’m not into one-upmanship.

But here’s where my heart broke.  We went to a birthday potluck recently and the birthday person sent me a recipe with a cute “yes, please”…so I made it prior to the party and we tested it – it was fabbo. So I asked if I should make it for the adult party on Friday or the Family party on Sunday (which was a potluck). Birthday person said “doesn’t matter – it’s up to you.”   So I decided to double the recipe and bring it on Friday and then have it for Sunday.

So we eat some of it on Friday and I tell birthday person it’s for Sunday as well. Then Sunday rolls around and I’m helping set up for the party and whatnot…I notice that she is putting out the food people have started bringing; she’s putting out some brownies and I said “oh – are there still some of the brownies from Friday left?” and she says “yes, but we’re enjoying “Jill’s” recipe tonight”.  I was crushed.  I’m still crushed.  And it wasn’t as if that was the main birthday goodie – there was a cake for later. This was just general food on the buffet.   I’ve never had something I brought to a potluck rejected.

So am I being too sensitive? Should I have asked why she did that? Should I just let it go? I feel like I don’t want to bring goodies over there anymore. Sigh…

Thank you for letting me get this off my chest, Twindaddy ~ I hope it wasn’t too trite.

About Twindaddy (337 Articles)
Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

78 Comments on Let the Ranting Begin ~ A Baker’s Lament

  1. Possibilities, (1) Birthday girl loved it so much that she’s saving it for herself and didn’t want all the boys to gobble it up, (2) Someone spent too much time/money/thinking on cake and there was fear that the cake might not be eaten if there were too many desserts, and she figured you wouldn’t mind since you’re a hero, (3) Jill’s a baby and complained right before the party, saying she wouldn’t have brought dessert if she knew a pro was going to outshine her, and the birthday girl decided that it wasn’t worth the hassle so she decided to save Jill’s life at the cost of your offering, (4) Birthday girl doesn’t know how a potluck works and is one of those people that thinks people can “over eat” dessert.

    I think all of those are more likely than any possibility regarding your personality, your baking, or you at all. So, there’s no point in calling her out because it’ll just force her to point our her own insecurities, Jill’s, or your superiority. It’d be awkward for you both.

    Still, though, I’m pretty sure BirthdayGirl has some pretty nasty Potluck karma coming her way, poor thing.


  2. I would eat the hell out of your baked goods any number of consecutive days that you supplied them! This will be fun reading your posts over here too. My blog isn’t anonymous either so I get the censorship issues. Would you like to post on She Said What? I would be happy to have you anytime, more than happy, honoured! I am also totally jealous of your boss-like powers of Facebook.


  3. Oh!!! How awkward! I would be hurt too, especially since she asked you to bring them. But I think Rarasaur got it right: your friend was saving all those brownies for herself or maybe she ate them all and didn’t want to admit it ;). Of course, like you, I love to bake and it’s one of the ways I express my love and I can be very sensitive about how people react. It’s easier said that done, but it might help to let your friend know you were hurt and clear the air.


  4. Oh also, I have that Top Secret Classified Files blog and have opened it up to other people to post private stuff and get support. You are welcome to come visit and write without editing.


  5. My first thought was that they were so good she was saving them for herself, however couldn’t understand why she just didn’t say that to you. Honestly, if you are bold enough to make the request and provide the recipe, then you are bold enough to say “your brownies are now part of my secret stash, hope you don’t mind that I want to eat them all.”
    I know I would be hurt, because it is hurtful. If she is a good friend I would ask what her intention was before coming to an assumed conclusion.
    Good luck!


  6. She probably scarffed the lot the night before and so had none left for the day 🙂


  7. Rutabaga,
    I wouldn’t worry about it. Honestly, she was probably just trying to protect Jill’s feelings. Had your goodies been put out along with hers, yours would’ve been eaten first and Jill might have felt bad. Or been embarrassed. Or some other emotions that I can’t think of right now.

    However, if it will make you feel better, you can mail the leftovers to me and I will eat them and then blog about your culinary prowess. For whatever that would be worth.

    Oh, and you can lament here any time you would like. My virtual door is always open for you.


  8. I only have one question: When are you going to write for me?
    You’re brilliant!


  9. If someone baked brownies for me on Friday night, I would be embarrassed to admit that my hubby had eaten every crumb of them and there were none left by Sunday. You can bake for my hubby any time… he has a sweet tooth plus. I can’t keep enough sweets in the house for him. Do not think you should take it personal at all. Keep up the great job.


  10. Maybe she ate them all and was too embarrassed to tell you. With me, that is very very likely to happen. People don’t leave me alone with dessert.
    But whatever the reason, you aren’t being too sensitive. She should have put both out anyway, what person in their right mind says no to two different kinds of brownies? Plus she asked you to make them, so you have all the right to be hurt.


  11. You should have loudly declared, “Bring out my FUCKING brownies NOW!”

    (We really let it all hang out over here at Stuphland. I think we all feel better now. I know I do. I’ll be over at my genteel blog if anyone needs me.)


  12. Twindaddy – Why do you assume that I am not a badass mercenary?

    But the real important question is…

    Did the brownies have weed in them?


  13. This is a wall slide moment Denise!

    I would eat the fuck out of your baked goods, and I don’t even like sweets. So there.


  14. Maybe Jill had been promised the Sundat slot.
    Or the hosts were just hogging your cake and keeping the deliciousness to themselves…


  15. Maybe Jill was very proud of her recipe- passed down in her family, or something, and your friend, knowing how good your brownies were, didn’t want to blow Jill’s out of the water. Or she might just be anal, and want only one of everything on the buffet table- can you imagine two green bean casseroles? Or maybe your friend later regretted her spur-of-the-moment decision and never realized how it had hurt you. Just a few more options for you to ponder! P.S. now I’m hungry…


  16. There is a simple answer. She at them all between parties. They were that good. You should go now and make her some more. And make some for me too. Thanks.


  17. It is so easy to assume a reason, isn’t it? I’ve read the assorted comments and maybe it would be worth just a quiet word with your friend – or send her a note – to say that you felt a little snubbed by what she said and that you’re sure she didn’t mean it that way, and is everything ok – or words to that effect.

    Glad that Twindaddy was able to give you the rant-zone!


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