Today was a horrible day for justice.  I, Miraculous Man, made an inexcusable mistake.  I suppose there is a first time for everything, but there should never have been a first time for this.

I was making my rounds at Wal-Mart, looking for any injustices being committed against my customer service brethren.  I had almost finished my way around the track, as it’s referred to, and had yet to see any mischief afoot.

As I passed by the Garden Center, an animated discussion ensnared my attention. There seemed to be a heated exchange between a customer and an employee.  The customer seemed quite agitated and was flailing his arms about while he spoke cacophonously.  I made my way toward the duo, so I could ascertain the situation.

“You’ve got to be the dumbest person I’ve ever met!” were the first words I heard out of the customer’s mouth.  That was all I needed to hear.  I would not stand idly by while this villainous cretin berated one of my customer service brethren.

I quickly darted down a vacant aisle and, once I was sure I was safe from prying eyes, donned my miraculous costume.  Once I was properly attired, I burst from the aisle, running at full speed toward the offending customer.

Just a second or two from full contact, the customer noticed my charge and tried to brace for impact, but it was too late.  I buried my right shoulder deep into his sternum and tackled him bodily to the ground.

I triumphantly exclaimed, “You will not talk to my customer service brethren in such a fashion.  You will apologize immediately!”

The employee quickly intervened.  “What’s your problem, man?  He wasn’t yelling at me. He was telling a frickin’ story.”

Oops.  Luckily for me, I had my miraculous hockey mask on, which hid the embarrassment draped over my face.  Without delay, I made my departure and didn’t look back.

I think a little more investigation may be required in future endeavors.

Written for this week’s Trifecta Challange.

Advertisement