Out of the Darkness

Every thirteen minutes, someone in the US commits suicide. A traumatized lover pops a bottle of pills. A bullied teen hangs from a noose. A horribly depressed soul shoots himself in the face. A depressed teen hangs herself with a belt.

One week from today is the local Out of the Darkness walk, organized by the American Foundation for Suicide prevention. This is the 10th annual walk here in Cincinnati. For 10 years the Cincinnati chapter has raised awareness and money to help fight against suicide. They hope to erase the stigma attached to mental illness. They use they money raised to research mental illness, which is the cause of suicide 90% of the time. They provide support for those who have survived a suicide attempt and for those left behind by a loved one who has committed suicide.

Suicide has been an unwanted part of my life for 16 years. During my first marriage, the threat of suicide and even a handful of unsuccessful attempts was used to hold me hostage in a marriage I did not want. During my second marriage, I spent a lot of time helping my wife recover from the suicide of her brother. Suicide has a devastating effect on the surviving loved ones. Suicide attempts do, as well. The effects are paralyzing. Destructive. Soul-crushing.

I have connected with many people here on WordPress who have attempted suicide. They are all wonderful people who suffer from some sort of mental illness. Depression. Bipolar. Addiction. All they wanted was for the pain to end.

Next week I will be walking for these people. I will be walking for two of my closest friends, who have both confided in me that they attempted suicide in the past. I will be walking for my ex-brother-in-law, who’s suicide tore apart his remaining family. I still don’t know if, seven years later, they have recovered. I don’t know if they ever will. I will be walking for my first wife who, despite her willfully using suicide in an attempt to manipulate me, actually attempted it due to her, at the time, undiagnosed mental illness. Most importantly, I will be walking for my children. The twins mother, my first wife, attempted suicide. Baby C’s uncle successfully committed suicide. I fear those traits are somewhere buried within my children.

I unashamedly beg you to donate to AFSP if you can. This organization provides, in my opinion, a vital community service. The research funded and services provided to those who need them makes it all worth it. Your donation will make a difference to someone.


About Twindaddy (337 Articles)
Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

31 Comments on Out of the Darkness

  1. This is a truly noble cause. I’am proud of you.


  2. I didn’t have a lot, but I donated a bit. Having been close to it myself a couple of times, and friends who have had family members go that way, then this is a great cause, and well done for doing the walk.


  3. Good for you, TD. I donated.


  4. Thank you for continuing to bring awareness to this tragic solution to end one’s problems. Mental illness and even anguish still receive shunning or even, god forbid, snickers. The fact that you support this cause, means the world. Massive hugs to you.


  5. Well, I’m not a fan of it either, but you can only play the hand life deals you.


  6. I’m sorry, as I can empathize. If I were local, I would join you. I lost a friend to suicide a year ago, July. I also lost a dear friend of 33 years six months prior to cancer, which had a profound effect on my friend that took his life. He left behind his wife and two small children. Needless to say, it was a difficult year. I”m supportive of your cause. YOU hang in there and take care of yourself.


  7. We have to talk about this. It’s one of the first things I learned in the event I may be working with someone who is suicidal. You can’t say anything to “make someone” think of it, someone who is suicidal IS thinking and possibly planning. It must be talked about. And everyone needs to know there is help. I hope this reaches someone who needs to be reached.


  8. If I really stop and think about how much money I don’t have to donate to worthy causes like this, I would get depressed enough that you might find yourself walking for me someday. But I am supporting you in my head and my heart with… all my heart… and my head… and maybe my feet if they do a walk here…


  9. Wishing you all the best, and admiring your dedication from afar.


  10. I do know how much it means to you. One of the people I’ll be walking for next Sunday is The Kid.


  11. You’re welcome.


  12. Reblogged this on Find the words and awaken the soul and commented:
    I lost my Mother to suicide and I know what it feels like to contemplate it


    • I’m so sorry to hear both that you lost your mother and that you’ve contemplated it. If you find that you’re still struggling AFSP can assist you in getting the help you need.

      Also, how old are your twins?? Mine are 13.


  13. I’m so proud of you. If only you weren’t so incredibly far away I’d walk with you. As it stands I can only do so metaphorically. Hold your head up high, you are a wonderful man, a wonderful dad and a great example for your boys.


  14. Hi, Twindaddy. I’ve been reading about you on others’ blogs and people think you’re marvelous! Especially Emily, of the waiting. I publish Crazy Good Parent, a blog dedicated to helping people with mental illnesses be the best parents they can. I’ve published work by Emily and other guests. Please check the blog out at crazygoodparent.com. I would love for you to write for CGP. I treat CGP as if it were a magazine and have a special focus each month. This month the focus is on relationships. I wrote about how bipolar disorder (I have BDII) has affected my sexual and romantic relationships. Another blogger wrote about her relationship with Jesus in recovering from addiction.

    Next month, I want to focus on suicide. Suicides peak in the spring and I’d like to offer inspiration and information to my readers than can help them stay alive. I hope you’ll consider writing for CGP. You can contact me at crazygoodparent@comcast.net


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