This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

Doesn’t it always feel like any time you have to punish your children that you’re being punished, too?

The twins and I stopped at the grocery store on the way home Friday night. We shopped for our weekly groceries and picked up a few things for Thanksgiving dinner. When we were finished we headed to the checkouts (obviously) where I told the twins to hop to the front of the cart so they could load our selections on the conveyor belt. I was then informed by a cantankerous Baby A that he and his brother did all the chores. Evidently I’m some evil taskmaster who sits on his ass while they…

“Excuse me?” I retorted. “Doing the dishes a couple of times a week and doing a handful of chores every other Saturday is hardly everything. What exactly do you contribute on the days you’re not there?”

“Well, um, when we are there we do all the chores,” he tried.

At this point I told him bodily harm would result if he continued to articulate this line of thought. I also informed him that I could, in fact, start making him do everything. Baby B laughed at this, but only after confirming he would not end up with more chores because his brother was suffering diarrhea of the mouth.

That was the end of the conversation until we arrived home. Once the groceries were unloaded and put away. I informed Baby A that he would be cooking dinner.

“Wait. What?” he gasped, flabbergasted.

“Well you do everything, right?” I deadpanned. Baby B snickered at his brother’s misfortune.

“That’s not what I said. I said we do all the chores.”

After explaining to this ingrate that cooking is a chore and promising him that he’d be forced to eat all of the food after he threatened to purposely burn it all, I walked out the front door to retrieve Baby C from my mother’s house. Baby A was left in the kitchen with the task of cooking metwurst and Italian sausage.

Easy enough, right? Evidently not.

When I returned roughly 20 minutes later, he had already cooked the Italian sausages. I thought that was rather quick seeing as how they were frozen when I left the house. A quick check of one of the sausages revealed it was incredibly squishy, meaning the meat inside was not thoroughly cooked. I told him to put them back on the stove and cook them a bit longer.

“But I’ll burn them!” he whined.

“It’s okay if they’re a little crispy on the outside,” I assured him.

I once again left him with the task of cooking the sausages. Once they were done he immediately dug in as he was evidently famished. He was about halfway through the sausage when he says, “Is it supposed to be pink like that?”

Make me cook, will ya? I’ll give us all food poisoning as punishment for this, um, punishment. (Photo credit: Cooking Up A Story)

“No, it’s not.”

He shrugged his shoulders and continued devouring the sausage. Sigh…. I handed him the plate of sausages, and instructed him to put them in the microwave for a couple of minutes so they could finish cooking.

My attempt to teach my son a lesson failed spectacularly. As a child I scoffed when my parents would say things like “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” Now I understand all too well what they meant.

About Twindaddy (343 Articles)
Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

63 Comments on This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

  1. I wouldn’t say you failed at teaching your son a lesson. He’s now more aware of all that needs to be done. Keep at it, he’ll turn into a little chef, and women love men who can cook. He’ll grow up a very happy young man 😉


  2. Sounds like you punished everybody. Lol. I feel bad for my 10 year old sometimes because whenever we need something done, she’s the first one I call on. Her brothers are only 4 and 2 and can’t really do much without screwing it up. I assure her that their time will come as well. How soft have we become that we feel bad for making the kids contribute a tiny little bit around the house?? Geez on us.


    • Ha! I don’t feel bad for them. I was given more responsibility at their age than they have. I just thought it was hilarious that he feels he has to do EVERYTHING, which of course is youthful ignorance I wanted to rob him of. I don’t know how well that worked.


  3. I always say anyone can be a parent but being a GOOD parent is the hard stuff. Disciplining your kids and doing things that need to be done despite knowing your kids are going to freak out, give attitude, whine and lose their minds is exhausting. I’d have less gray hairs popping up if I was ok with raising brats I think. Props for going forward with the lesson!


  4. Oh, the stuff that comes out of their mouths. There are times now when I can actually laugh, shake my head and walk away. It tends to work better with my oldest. ; )


  5. Ha ha, TD. It’s all in how you look at it. And kids have an entirely different perspective. I worked from home as a technical writer from the time my youngest, child#4, was 6 years. At age 17, she mentioned that I was a stay-at-home-mom and didn’t do much since my four children were all adults. What?! Before working from home, I always worked full time at an office. I guess working from home is the same as lounging around and eating bon-bons!
    Good news, though. As they get older, their perspective starts to mesh with reality – very very slowly.


  6. Oh, he’s very smart. Common sense still eludes him, though.


  7. Haha! I’ll introduce them to their animals friends this weekend.


  8. I may be known for letting my child get away with something so that I don’t have to bear their punishment. Sometimes it’s a bigger pain in the ass to teach a lesson. Thank god we can pick our battles.


  9. You shoulda made him eat the raw sausages.

    I hate teaching lessons. It never really works. Seems like what works is behaving in a certain way and encouraging the little ones to learn in that manner.


  10. May I recommend next time, make him fell a tree and plow the yard. That’ll fix him. And you won’t get food poisoning.


  11. The critters have a similar complaint: why do I have to clean it up? I didn’t make it!
    So. You don’t want supper? You didn’t make it either.


  12. It’d hurt him more when he pukes up those raw sausages. That’ll learn ’em.


  13. What about getting your mum involved to get the twins some cooking lessons? They’d probably think it more fun with grandma than with dad, right? Especially if she teaches them how to bake cakes and yummy foods!


  14. I’d call that a win. He wants you to think it’s a fail. Kids are smart like that.


  15. And he’ll remember that lesson for the rest of his life and pass it on to his kids…..I remember some of those lessons and they shaped who I am today. Stay strong! 🙂


  16. Pink pork equals trich. Pink poultry equals salmy. You may be right…it may hurt you more.


  17. I think the point of the lesson was to teach Baby A that there are chores beyond doing the dishes, and he definitely learned that. And as a bonus, he now knows how to cook a sausage, sort of.


  18. next time baby a gets diarrhea of the mouth let him deal with baby c when he gets diarrhea of the butt. hahah.
    you definitely taught him a lesson… maybe next time a vegetarian dish. 😉


  19. In our house (my kid was adopted) this sort of thing was always met with “Im so glad youre not my real mother.” But now that hes married…hes really cool with it for some reason…huh , go figure.


  20. Haha, love this!


  21. If he realized how annoying it is to keep cooking food and have it not yet be done, I’d say you taught the lesson just fine!


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