You’ve Been Virtually Bitch-Slapped

Batman bitch slapping Robin
~ Twindaddy

[Editor’s Note: The Virtual Bitch-Slap is something which was concocted by Samara and I. We created the Virtual Bitch-Slap because some people are just too far away to justify the travel expenses that would be incurred simply to slap the shit out of someone. This idea is meant to be a playful tool used amongst bloggers, but I have something else in mind for it today…]

When I was growing up, I remember seeing a series of Maytag commercials littered among all of the different programs I watched. The commercials featured a Maytag repair man (and sometimes his partner who I seem to recall was an idiot) who was lonely and bored because Maytags never break down, thus they never require repair.

As a teen I would watch these commercials and wonder to myself, “Why do they have Maytag repair men if they aren’t needed?” Of course, I’m always very critical of commercials because I hate them with an inexplicable passion. Oh, well. We all have our foibles.

Three years ago my (then) wife and I bought a Maytag washer and dryer set from The Home Depot (pronounced by Revis as Home de Pot [get your pot here!!]). After three years of owning these appliances, I simply must say…

Gordon Jump as the Maytag repairman
Maybe he’s bored because people don’t trust Maytag after their products fail so spectacularly after purchase. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

THOSE COMMERCIALS ARE BULLSHIT!

For some time the machine hasn’t agitated while the wash cycle is running. Then, the spin cycle quit working. So, my washing machine, for all intents and purposes, became a soaking machine. We had to wring out the clothes by hand once the “washer” was finished because the clothes were dripping wet. And of course the machine only had a one year warranty on it.

So today a repair man (from Sears, not Maytag because fuck those guys) came and replaced an actuator that was essentially a switch for the motor to go from agitate to spin. Or something. That’s what I got out of his explanation. I know how to operate washers, not how they work. Anyhow, I had to drop $240 to get my washer working again, which is more than half of what we paid for it. What a crock.

So it is with mock-enthusiasm that I present Maytag with the first ever Virtual Bitch-Slap.

virtual bitch slap

Fuck you, Maytag. I hope you felt that.

*If you wish to use the Virtual Bitch-Slap by all means do, please give credit, though.

Published by Twindaddy

Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

116 thoughts on “You’ve Been Virtually Bitch-Slapped”

  8. Yay! The VBS!!

    Now, how the heck do I deliver that? I’m not all techie and cool like you.
    That GIF is hilarious. I watched it over and over, and just kept laughing. Is there something wrong with me?

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      1. This is the best thing ever.

        Stop doing things like this. I’ll end up with a crush and have to fight Zoe for you.
        Or was she crushing on BLC? I can’t tell.

        This. freaking. made. my. day.

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  9. Charlie Murphy!! I love the GIF. Give it some time to make the rounds…they’ll be VBS’s all about and who knows…it might find it’s way all the way to the President of the Interweb. He needs one for the all those viral kitten videos.

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          1. Right on! This would be a bitch of a line up, as I can feel the pain in my hand already. I would need some assistance. The mental picture makes me laugh. 🙂

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          2. Also, via FOX News, Russia will not provide financial assistance to the Ukraine, as they obviously do not have their people under control. Hard to stomach.

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  11. A virtual bitch slap for everyone! I feel like I should tell you that I might abuse this privilege. In fact, you should probably take it away from me now, before I bitch slap All The Internets!

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  15. It’s not Maytag’s fault, TD. You bought an appliance designed for mediocrity and large repair bills. They’re all the same. The all suck. Remember when the warranty lasted longer than the number of seconds you could hold your breath? Damn I am feeling old.

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  23. Ouch. Well, they had it coming.
    Hard to believe that replacing a couple parts would cost more than half of what it was new… Blah. Are there any companies that make solid products anymore?

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          1. Argh! The company should have that info then and make a better product! Or, we should be better about spreading that information so people stop buying their products…

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          3. Yes it would. We should combine our blogging powers and take down the evil companies that produce shoddy machines.

            What do you mean we don’t have blogging powers?

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          9. Don’t make it a command… have it be more of a suggestion… or figure out a way to get them excited about it and make them feel like it was their idea to do it in the first place.

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          11. You’re parent, right?
            I bet you could do it if you applied yourself.
            But, way to play the nice guy and make me feel like a shmuck for even thinking about doing something “manipulative” like that.

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  27. Pingback: Get Over It: Quit Your Bitching, Change Your Life | QueenBeeingQueenBeeing

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