You guys!! It’s time for another brain dump! Here are this week’s (I say that like this is a regularly scheduled feature or something) random thoughts on stories that caught my attention.

So, a chef at a restaurant called Mad Fresh (snarky comments will be saved for the rest of this story) has banned ketchup from his establishment. The mad chef (I like that name) contends that his food is so perfectly prepared and flavored that no ketchup is needed, and has even kicked people out for sneaking ketchup into the restaurant. Well, fuck you, mad chef! If I like ketchup on my food I’ll put it on my food no matter what you think of your flavors.

“I think ketchup is edible – on certain things. I’ll give it that much. But it’s just not part of my culinary agenda,” the mad chef claims. Ah, well. I guess what I, your paying customer wants, is immaterial. Ass.

Sigh. Another pastor who thinks gays should be put to death. That sounds EXACTLY like what Jesus used to preach, right? RIGHT? I say we start putting people who perpetuate hate to death (note to literalists out there – that was sarcasm).

So a woman was recently kicked out of a restaurant recently while breastfeeding. She’s making a huge stink about it on Facebook. What she’s failing to mention, though, is that she was drinking while breastfeeding, and that’s why the manager on duty asked her to leave. I’ve read the comments from people defending this mom, saying that as long as she doesn’t drink right before breastfeeding the alcohol won’t affect the baby. Others are saying whatever the mom ingests goes to the baby. Both sides linked to sites which support their claims. My problem is this: if you’re carrying an infant around I don’t think you should be doing shots and drinking beer. You’re eventually going to have to carry that child out of there. What if you drop the baby or fall over while carrying the baby because you’re drunk? What if your drunk ass accidentally knocks the baby off the changing table? What if, what if, what if? In my opinion, drinking while caring for an infant is irresponsible, whether you’re breastfeeding or not.

A funeral home in Saginaw, Michigan has opened a drive thru window. Scratching your head? I was, too. Evidently, the window will allow people to pay their respects without ever leaving their car. What. The. Fuck. Are there really people who’s lives are so terribly important that they can’t get out of their fucking cars to pay respect to the dead? Is this a thing?

Is it a prerequisite to say absolutely asinine shit to be a Republican? I’m just wondering, because it seems like at least once a month one of them makes headlines for uttering absurdly insensitive and stupid shit. This month it’s Russell Pearce, who said on his very own radio show, “You put me in charge of Medicaid, the first thing I’d do is get a woman Norplant, birth-control implants, or tubal ligations …”

Um, really, Russ? Can I call you Russ? I guess it’s too late to ask that since I already have. Russ, isn’t forced sterilization something the Nazi’s did? *checks Google* Yes, they did. You really want to take a page out of Adolf Hitler’s book?

Russ claims that the statement was written by someone else, who he conveniently failed to name. Whether or not someone else wrote that garbage, Russ, you read it on air and left the impression that you agreed with the statement. Tool.normal_stfu

Things continue to get muddier for the NFL. Last week’s Thursday Night Football game introduction was supposed to feature a song performed by Rihanna, but in the wake of the Ray Rice video tape being released they opted not to use her song since she had been a victim of domestic violence herself at the hands of Chris Brown back in 2009. CBS claims that they needed “appropriate tone and coverage” in the wake of the video tape going public, but as far as I’m concerned all they did was punish a victim for being a victim.

Rihanna was savagely beaten and tossed from a car. Then CBS says, hey, you’re too close to this so we’re not going to play your music for millions of potential fans to hear. They could have instead played her song and perhaps gotten her thoughts on domestic violence since, you know, she was once brutally assaulted by someone of Ray Rice’s stature. I guess that makes too much sense.

Speaking of the NFL, who here has heard of the Adrian Peterson charges? Everyone? Good. Let me just say, the Minnesota Vikings are run by a bunch of insensitive and hypocritical assholes. Peterson has never shied away from the fact that he whoops his children with switches. He’s openly admitted it. So how did the Vikings initially respond? They deactivated him last weekend. Then they got their asses handed to them by the Patriots on Sunday. Guess what the Vikings are saying now? If you answered, “We need to let the legal process play out,” then you’ve won a cookie.

Wait what??

Why does the legal process need to play out? He’s admitted it. Let’s be frank about what’s going on here. Peterson is the most talented athlete on that team and they had their asses handed to them without him in the line up. If they were really interested in letting the legal process play out Peterson wouldn’t have been deactivated last week. If they were as concerned about the children as they say they are, they wouldn’t wait for the legal process to play out since Peterson has admitted, quite proudly, that “All my kids will know, hey daddy has the biggie heart but don’t play no games when it comes to acting right.” Peterson’s heart may be in the right place, but his methods are barbaric.

And, because I don’t want this post to be completely negative and upsetting, here are highlights from an insanely talented one-handed basketball player…

What say you? Do you have thoughts about my, um, thoughts?