A Ramble On My Neighbors

When it comes to my neighbors…I avoid them like the plague.

The folks in the townhouse next to me are not the most intelligent beings I’ve ever encountered. They have a puppy who, obviously, barks at everything. When she does this, kids and adults alike begin yelling at the dog. “Lady! Stop it!” (Yes. They named their dog Lady. How original.) This logic escapes them, but yelling at a barking dog does not shut it up. In fact, it only exacerbates the cacophony. Not only do I get to hear their dog barking maniacally, which I can tolerate, but then I have to listen to the entire family while they scream at the dog. That, I cannot tolerate.

The “man” of that house is also a maintenance man for the complex I live in. Normally, this would be a good thing. In normal circumstances you’d think I’d pass him while taking out the trash or something and be able to tell him I need my shower head replaced because it’s spraying water all over the wall, causing a leak in the bathroom below. But, no. That dude totally forgets and when I see him again he merely scratches his head while meekly telling me he forgot. No problem, Skippy. The shower head was only five bucks and the teflon tape was only a buck. I got this…even though YOU’RE legally required to take care of it.

This guy is one of the biggest morons I’ve ever known. When sewage backed up into my home a few years ago (because some idiot was flushing baby wipes down the toilet) he brought me a dehumidifier and told me that would help get the water out of my carpet.

baby-facepalm.jpg

Have you finished rolling your eyes? There’s another story where that came from.

Last year, Revis (who lives in the same complex as I do) had a dishwasher which wouldn’t drain. Mrs. Revis called maintenance and this moron came over, barely took two steps into the kitchen, and said, “Yup. It’s backed up.” Then he left.

Well, there was a unicorn... and, ummm. I'm a terrible liar!

How did he know it was clogged? Does he have x-ray vision? Does he have a super sixth sense? Did he clandestinely consult his crystal ball? Did he have a fortune-teller on speed dial? Inquiring minds want to know.

Anyhow, yeah, I avoid those neighbors. I have neighbors on the other side that I’ve never seen. I know people live there because there are cars parked there and I hear the squeaking every time they turn on a faucet in their house, but I’ve never seen them. Maybe they only come out at night? Maybe it’s Casper and friends? I’m honestly not curious enough to find out.

To be perfectly blunt, I very much an introvert. I don’t go out of my way to meet new people. Meeting new people is an uncomfortable experience for me. I’m not outgoing at all (unless I’m drunk) and I’m never sure how people I don’t know will take me. I’ve had friends tell me that my first impressions leave a lot to be desired. My very sharp sarcasm has had me mistaken for a caustic asshole (which I can occasionally be), so I’m a bit leery around new people.

I guess all this kinda makes me a hermit even though I’m completely surround by people. Ah, well. They’ve made no effort to get to know me either, so that makes us even, right? Right???

Meh…


This post was sponsored by Finish the Sentence Friday. This week’s prompt was “When it comes to my neighbors…”

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About Twindaddy (330 Articles)
Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

55 Comments on A Ramble On My Neighbors

  1. you must be my brother from another mother or something…. 😉

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    • Perhaps. You don’t like your neighbors either??

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      • you not familiar with that phraze? I was thinking that we are so much alike. I avoid my neighbors and people in genneral.

        Don’t even know what they are up to. I have those which make noise, and it will annoy me at 2AM especially when the dude stands with his aplified car radio just outside my open bedroom window…. or that other dude who likes to shoot with his gun.

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        • Wow. I think you have it much, much worse. All I have is a bumbling, inept maintenance guy…who barks at his barking dog.

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  2. Extremely relatable ramble. Totally introverted hermit and do not know neighbors…and don’t care if we ever get to know each other.

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  3. Ha! I don’t think it is required to like or even know your neighbbors TD. I’ve lived in aparrtments for years and not even seen my neighbors let alone get to know them. Have a great day! 😀

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  4. We’ve lived between the same neighbours for going on 20 years. On one side, we’re chummy, pretty tight, actually – barbecues, hot tub, joint camping trips even. On the other side, we’re polite and chatty but not close. I feel bad that we’ve never invited them over for a beer or anything but then I think, “Hey, wait, they’ve never invited us!”
    (Now that I write this, I remember we did invite them once, along with all our neighbours for an open-house over Christmas a couple of years back; they couldn’t make it…)

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  5. Mr. Enthusiasm knows all of our neighbours (their last names, what kind of dog they own, what they do). I know exactly 3. I’ve lived here 14 years and I only know the 2 across the street neighbours and the one next to me. And one of the 3 is a friend (and my realtor) so he doesn’t count. So I know 2 neighbours in 14 years. 🙂

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  6. We are surrounded by very different but very kind neighbors.

    I love knowing my neighbors because it give s my kiddoes 8 different houses to escape to in case of an emergency and 8 different people to come help when I’ve fallen from the attic!!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Und zat, darlink, is vy you ‘ave ze INTERNET!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love caustic assholes – I find them both charming and delightful : ) In other news, your landlord needs to replace your neighbors. At least on that one side. I only know my neighbors across the street because our daughters are friends. The ones on either side of me I couldn’t pick out of a line-up. I guess I’m an introvert also?

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  9. Urrrh. Barking dogs. I know dogs. I love dogs. Sometimes they bark. We have neighbors who had a psychotic German shepherd who used to stand at the edge of our property and bark maniacally at us. We have a big yard which we couldn’t use for years because we were always afraid he would come over and kill somebody. Truly, he was horrible. He would bark at us for doing things INSIDE our house. We complained and ultimately threatened legal action (in spite of my line of work, I really don’t believe in lawsuits to solve problems that talking should do.). Some neighbors are truly assholes. But not all of them are as dumb as yours!

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    • Well, this is a puppy, and she’s not very big or intimidating at all. Just loud. And I can deal with that. What drives me nuts is them yelling at her…

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  10. This is precisely why I enjoy my little house in the woods. Although my neighbors are close enough if I need them, they are far enough to avoid chance meetings!

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  11. Kristi Campbell - findingninee // October 3, 2014 at 5:46 pm // Reply

    Sometimes, I look out my peephole to make sure nobody is outside getting their mail when I want to. We have one neighbor that I should have written about but I was rushed. Anyway, she’s nuts. She needs meds badly but won’t take any. She’s convinced that everybody who moves has been killed by Obama so she throws their trash into somebody’s yard saying that since they’re dead and don’t pay their trash fees, that they shouldn’t get their trash picked up. She also yells at the mailbox.
    Anyway, I actually wish I were friends with some of my neighbors. I can be an introvert at times but once I get to know somebody, I’m awesome. Of course, none of my neighbors knows that.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I understand some of your introvert tendencies. Of course, you come across as anything but an introvert on the internet. So maybe you are introverty sometimes, and extroverty sometimes?

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    • Online is different. I’m not actually facing anyone when I publish a comment. I’m not there to see anyone’s face or reaction when I say anything. Plus, I have MUCH more time to consider what I’m saying online.

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  13. Muy estúpido, the maintenance guy! WTH? I find that as I get older, I don’t feel the need to make new friends and talk to every person I encounter. It’s too much work. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I think I have neighbors, but I’m not sure…

    Actually, the couple on one side of me are great people, and the house on the other side has been vacant for 3 years. I can only hope it stays that way perpetually…

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Hahahah! The only thing vacant near you is your neighbor’s head? Oh yes, I get that. Visiting from FTSF where I wrote about my horrid neighbor who believed he could talk me into getting my cedar tree “shaped.” Silly man.

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  16. Oh the tales I can tell about my neighbors. Thank goodness we have doors and windows to block the insanity.

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  17. I love sarcastic witty, too. Your neighbors obviously have no idea what is living next door. Their loss.

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  18. I love my neighbors!
    Especially with gravy….

    Liked by 1 person

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