Random Thoughts: 10/8/2014


Thank you for tuning in to the Imperial News Network, where we’ll give you a completely biased viewpoint provided by the government. We report. We decide.

It’s that time again! Time for me to sit on my soapbox and dish opinions out on today’s news stories. Not all of them, of course. That would take far too long and get boring fairly quickly. In this edition I’ve gone more in-depth on my opinions, so there are fewer stories and more verbal diarrhea. You’re welcome.

Imagine you’re gay. You live an open life and have a partner of the same gender. You want a child, but you don’t adopt because it’s damn near impossible for same-sex couples to get approved for adoption. So you get artificially inseminated (Obviously, you’re also female). Now, imagine that you and your partner are both white and that nine months later you give birth to a mixed child due to a clerical error at the sperm bank. Are you going to sue the sperm bank because you have a mixed child?

If you’re Jennifer Cramblett and Amanda Zinkon you do. Never mind that for most of history, two gay women having a child naturally wasn’t even possible (or accepted). Never mind that they have a gorgeous little 2-year old girl. They are worried about their daughter being mistreated because she’s half-black.

While that IS a valid concern, even if their daughter was white she would still face criticism for having two moms. It’s not fair, but that’s the way the world is. Cramblett is also worried that her “all white, and often unconsciously insensitive family” might mistreat her half-black daughter.

Mrs. Cramblett, if your family mistreats your daughter simply because she’s half-black then you kick them to the curb. Under no circumstances should you tolerate any mistreatment of her. Furthermore, if your family is open-minded enough to have accepted the fact that you’re gay and married to a woman, I find it hard to believe they would reject or mistreat a biracial child.

You two ladies need to be thankful that you have a happy, healthy daughter and drop this ridiculous lawsuit. Get your fucking priorities straight.

Oh, dear. More racial insensitivity. Dafuq is wrong with people?

Robert Pattinson, horrible actor and sparkling vampire wannabe, is dating musician FKA twigs (I’m sure there’s some reasonable explanation for that asinine name, but that’s a post for another day.). Now, there is a faction of Americans out there who are die-hard Twilight fans. They even have their own name. Twihards. I wish I were making this up. Anyhow, these…Twihards…are upset for some reason that Pattinson is no longer giving the business to Kristen Stewart. Toward that end, they have been harassing FKA twig on Twitter. That in itself is lame. What’s entirely even more loathsome, however, is that they are doing so with racism.

Yes, folks, FKA twig is black.

First of all, Twihards, get a fucking grip. I’m a Star Wars nerd but do you see me getting bent out of shape because Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher aren’t married? No. These are actors and actors are not required to carry out your ridiculous fantasies in real life. Shocking, I know. Secondly, racism is NOT acceptable. Ever. Who Pattinson decides to date is HIS business, and no one else’s. Geezass.

*this story is from Reddit, and has not been confirmed by any reliable source*
A 2nd grade teacher somewhere in America let a parent of one of her students bring in cookies on a Friday because the class had done well throughout the week. Friday afternoon, a parent walked in with a batch of cookies…with vaginas made of frosting on them.

The teacher explained that she could not give those to the children and the mom went OFF. She shouted things like,’You should be proud of your vagina’ and ‘You are settling for a women’s role in life.’ Right in front of the children, too.

Then, the mother leaves and continues to unload on the teacher via email. Among the winning (sarcasm alert) in this email, the mother tells the teacher that she has “settled” because teaching is a woman’s job, that the vagina should be celebrated, and that she hopes the teacher ends up with a husband who beats her.

Classy, eh?

So, Crazy Vagina Lady, you’re right. The vagina should be celebrated. Lord knows I celebrate every time I see one. There is just one thing you’re forgetting, though. Those children were 2ND-FUCKING-GRADERS!

Survey says….YOU’RE A DUMBASS!!

There is an appropriate time and age for sex education. 7-year-olds are not your target audience. Or, they shouldn’t be. Furthermore. lambasting a teacher for refusing to break out into an ad-libbed edition of the Vagina Monologues in front of second-graders only makes YOU look like a tool. It is not a teacher’s place to decide classroom curriculum. That is decided at state level, not by the teacher. It is, or should be, a parent’s choice when and how to educate their children about sex. That is not up to you. You need to take a Valium and calm the fuck down.

The NFL has come under extreme fire this year for its botching of the Ray Rice case in the wake of his vicious assault on his then-girlfriend, now-wife. And rightly so. In the aftermath, they’ve updated their Domestic Violence policy, and two of the three players accused of DV right now are not playing.

While the NFL still struggles with the spate of ugly DV charges against its players, one athlete in another sport continues to play and hardly anyone is talking about it. That player is Hope Solo. Hope Solo has been accused of assaulting her 17-year-old nephew and his mother.

To be fair, Solo’s case is still ongoing. She maintains her innocence. Meanwhile, she has been named to the US Olympic Team. I’m a firm believer in “innocent until proven guilty,” but if we, as a public, are going to demand the NFL punish players who have yet to be convicted then the US Soccer team should also be held to that same standard, and should punish Hope Solo by excluding her from the roster. Domestic Violence comes in a multitude of forms and is not committed only by men. I have been a victim of Domestic Violence in the past and I can testify to that fact. Hope Solo should be held to the same standard by the public as the NFL players we’ve been (rightly) demonizing.

That’s all we have for today’s program! Sound off on today’s stories in the comments below!

About Twindaddy (337 Articles)
Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

51 Comments on Random Thoughts: 10/8/2014

  1. Well if this didn’t make my morning worth getting up at 5:30 am for nothing a little better, not a damn thing else will.

    Excuse my language, this whole quitting smoking bit has got me out of sorts, a lot. I absolutely agree with your opinions here, especially the last two! If my girls are ever served any sexualized cookie I’d go the hell off!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Enjoyed your ramblings TD. you make many good arguments and

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Wow, you took one for the team that doesn’t (care to) devour news…this week at least.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can’t quite agree with you on the first story. I’d have sued as well. The husband and I spent a long time discussing it, and the fact is, so much money is spent on that procedure, that an error on the companies part should be recompensed. And adding one more hurdle for their child to leap (potential racial issues, added to the issues of being raised by gay parents) doesn’t make it easier to handle. It’s simply another battle to add to the roster, one that they wouldn’t have had to fight if the error hadn’t been made. Besides, seeing the interviews, there is no doubt that they are thrilled with their child and love her immensely.

    As for sparkly vampire dude…people got so weird over that whole series. I can’t even understand it. The books were terrible. The movies probably worse (though admittedly, I only watched two of them and that was by force). The world is a sick place where people have nothing better to do than attempt to hurt others.

    Third story: It was true, except they were cupcakes. It made the news all over. Weird…sick…disturbed woman. I’m proud of my vagina, too, but I don’t make glittery cupcake molds of it to share with people.

    And finally: You’re goddamn right! Women should be held to the same standards we are trying to hold men to. I could care less what’s hanging (or not) between someone’s legs. If you hurt someone, you shouldn’t be playing a sport, or considered a potential role model for my children.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Every child is going to face hurdles. And, frankly, I just can’t imagine that if some scientific miracle allowed me to have a child I couldn’t have otherwise I’d sue because the color of that child’s skin didn’t come out the way I wanted.

      No, the sperm bank shouldn’t be making simple clerical errors like this, but how do you put a price on something like this? They got what they wanted. They are mothers.


  5. SarahUncool // October 8, 2014 at 9:56 am // Reply

    For the first story, I agree that she should get back all of the cost of what was paid for this insemination and in the news stories I have read on it, they are very much happy and love their daughter. But it is still a fuck up on the facility’s side of it and it cost a lot of money to get a procedure like that done.

    As for her family, just because they can be homo-open doesn’t mean they are going to be racially unbiased. Those are two very separate things. I truly hope they don’t mistreat her daughter and can open their hearts and minds to love her as they would a white child, but it’s unforeseeable at this time.


  6. Tell the truth, darling — you chose the Hope Solo story because, hello: Hope Solo? Seriously? Next news story: Anikan Skywalker’s paternity suit.


  7. God, people are douche bags. This is why I love dogs.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Okay you have addressed some serious issues here, but I was giggling by how you wrote it… Thank you 😀

    Those cookies, seriously????

    And you know Americans are well known for their BS law suits. Seriously a fry at KFC is too hot and you sue…. The rest of the world just shakes their head.


  9. What’s wrong with vagina cupcakes? It’s a celebration of vagina AND diabetes.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. What happened to you forsaking the news?????

    You know, you could have done an entire post about vagina cookies. But I’m pretty sure if I were the teacher and somebody brought in vagina-themed cookies that I wouldn’t recognize them …

    (Oh, you have a typo at the bottom where you ask for comments: Sound of on today’s stories — should be OFF”


  11. “Darling your mommies love you very much and we completely accept you whatever – we just sued because you’re the wrong colour”

    UmmmmNO! WAY too many mixed messages.

    If the company had a jot of integrity, they would have offered a refund. Companies haven’t got much of that to spare.

    I wonder, would they have adopted a mixed race child?

    I feel happy that over here, gay couples, mixed race couples and singles can all adopt. That said, I’m not sure that they can (easily) adopt a child of completely different race.

    Anyone guilty of DV should be held accountable. Anyone accused should not be on Olympic teams until the matter is settled.

    The vagina cakes one has been EVERYWHERE. People be stupid. I feel bad for her kid.


  12. Ugh. I hate it when PEOPLE.
    Didn’t robotic Kristen Stewart totally cheat on that guy? With a married dude? WHy would anyone want him to go back to that? Oh, because they’re stupid.
    I agree about the soccer player, if that’s what NFL players are expected to do, it makes sense. I think the NFL is just at a total loss what to do about anything right now.
    The vagina lady, holee crap that lady needs help. Anger management at the very least.


  13. My uneducated opinion on the first story (I’ve read the headlines but not any of the articles or interviews) is that my biggest concern would be the message it sends to their daughter. Kids interpret things in ways we can’t ever predict. It is quite possible that this little girl will look back on this and wonder if her parents regretted having her. No amount of money would be worth that to me.


    • That’s precisely my concern. I mean, the little girl is only two right now, but what if she finds out about it later?


  14. I got a lot of laughs out of this today! I get so wound up by Twihard fans too, what makes them think it is any of their business what that sparkly chap does? This is when I fell “Get a life” come to mind.


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