Why My Kids Shouldn’t Dress Themselves

Fashion sense is not something prevalent on the paternal side of my family. On that side of my family there is more value on comfort than style, which I suppose makes sense. Until you look at yourself in the mirror. Honestly, I won’t be winning any fashion awards any time soon, but at the very least I don’t make myself stick out like a redneck in Starbucks.

I can remember many times in high school when my father would tell me he was going into town and asked if I wanted to go with him. Often this happened while he was working out in his shop and discovered he needed something. He worked in his old army fatigues, which were splattered with paint.

“Is that how you’re going?” I would always ask, while gesturing to his unsightly ensemble.


“Then I’ll stay here.”

The twins seem to have inherited this trait. I have often had to make them change before school for such reasons as wearing polos with athletic shorts, wearing clashing colors, or wearing a striped shirt with plaid shorts.


This morning I walked into the twins room to see what was taking them so long to get ready for school and happened upon Baby B, who was wearing black sweat pants and a button-up, black and white flannel shirt. A shirt which was also too small.

“Son, you can’t wear a button-up shirt with sweat pants,” I explained to him.

“But this shirt keeps me warm,” he whined.

“There are other shirts that will keep you warm. Besides, that shirt is too small.”

“No it isn’t.” That is the response I get from both of them when I inform them that an article of clothing they are wearing is too small. They think that as long as a shirt reaches their waistline that it’s big enough to wear. Never mind the fact that the sleeve barely extends past their shoulders or that raising an arm would expose their belly. Or that the shirt they are wearing is hugging them like a straight jacket.

“Yes, it is. Besides, no one wears button-up shirts with sweat pants.”

“Well, there is one other kid in our class that does,” Baby A interjected.

“And?” I asked.

“And he’s a little weird,” Baby A conceded.

I turned back to Baby B. “See? Just find another long-sleeved shirt – without buttons – and you’ll be fine.”

I then left the room to brush my teeth.

B came down a few minutes later when it was time to leave. He had his coat on and it was completely zipped up. I have my doubts about whether he actually changed his shirt. You can’t win them all, I guess.

Le sigh…


Do you have to argue with your kids about the clothes they wear? If so, do you have any tried-and-true methods with which to win these arguments? Throw me a bone, people.


About Twindaddy (338 Articles)
Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

41 Comments on Why My Kids Shouldn’t Dress Themselves

  1. Oh my goodness…my guy and yours could be triplets!
    D and I have the discussion every morning. For a while, he was all about impressing the ladies and actually wore nice pants and shirts to school. But, now he’s all football all of the time (we are still in post-season play) and it’s all about convenience and warmth and one lucky shirt that I have to wash every 2-3 days.
    Keep fighting the good fight, Scott!


  2. I have no experience with this but perhaps you could take snap a picture of them wearing the objectionable outfit and show it to them before they leave the house…? (Guys are very visual, right?) A mirror doesn’t show all that a head to toe picture reveals.


  3. Okay i am a bit supriesed that you notice that your kids have no sense of fashion, you being a guy and all….. 😉 As for my Daugher she is at that stage where she picks out her own cloths in the morning and blantantly refuses to wear anyting else…… As long as she is not going to cresh in her pijama’s and is dressed acording to the weather I just let her. I don’t have the energy to feight with my toddler. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Why do they always want to wear the stuff that’s too small??? Is that not uncomfortable? My son seems to find the one thing left in his drawer that doesn’t fit, and he always wants to wear it. You are definitely not alone in this struggle. Thankfully, my kids wear uniforms to school, so that cuts down on 5 arguments a week. But it’s open season outside of school hours. I wish I had some suggestions for you, but I don’t. I can feel myself losing the will the care about how they look a little more everyday…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Last week I went to the grocery store with my son dressed as Venom and my daughter wearing a tutu and bunny ears. I don’t argue anymore. If I can get them out of the house in clothing of some sort, I’m happy. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have to admit that I am happy that you actually do this! I mean, comfortable clothes are nice, but they do give a certain image of you, so good thing you try to make them look decent. Bonuspoint for you, TD! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I get this!! One of my coping mechanisms is quietly removing the stuff that is too small…because otherwise my son pitches a fit that he wants to keep it.

    But one piece of advice? Kids may self correct if they are mocked by their peers…


  8. I’d say you’re winning if they’re not sporting gangsta low-pants and accessories.


  9. This is one argument I never have with my children. I am happy to see them wearing clothes, I do argue between weather appropriate clothes, example, my daughter wanting to wear a skirt and no tights on negative temperature days.


  10. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me // November 18, 2014 at 2:22 pm // Reply

    Well this is where the school uniform is a wonderful thing, I suppose. With Kidzilla, her fashion sense sprouted with her hair way back when. Before she could speak, she was finding ways to indicate that she would wear the purple baby sweatpants, not the red thank you very much. When we painted her room a few months ago, she insisted that the pink floral curtains bedecked with sequins matched the pink and zebra bed ensemble. There was much debate in the Bed Bath and Beyond aisle. Know what? The freaking curtains do go with the bed set – there is a strip of pink floral design between the plain pink and the black and white zebra and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t just make the room.
    Conversations about appropriate clothing combinations go similarly. She’s usually right.
    Clothing that doesn’t fit is where I draw the line. She has a hard time moving on from those favorites once they’re really just too small to wear. We usually have to agree that it will be one more time, today only, then we pass it on to the cousin who loves our clothes!


    • You’re lucky that Zilla at least recognizes what colors and patterns go together.

      I also have to fight the small clothes battle constantly. Even Baby C threw a fit yesterday when I handed the snow boots he outgrew over the summer to his smaller cousin. Sigh…


  11. He so totally left with that too short shirt on. Most teenage boys are not going to take the time to
    a) look for another shirt
    b) take the other shirt off
    c) remember why they were supposed to change 5 seconds after you left the room
    d) remember to put on the new shirt and therefore have to leave for school hiding old shirt under jacket
    e)all of the above
    I asked my 17 yr old. He answered “What was the question?”

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Hey, wait a minute!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I remember having arguments with my parents about my clothes. And yet they never told my (younger) sister off for what she wore. Ugh. Families!


  14. Li’l D apparently cherishes every single article of clothing he’s ever worn. If he grows too big for it between wearings, he will wear it, four inches too short, cleaving all the wrong ridges and all. I’ve tried entreating him … but, no. I have to wait till it hits the laundry to route it to storage. :p

    Liked by 1 person

    • Last winter I had to force Baby B to pitch a UM hoodie that was covered in stains, paint, and holes. He kept going on about how comfortable it was, despite the fact the hoodie looked like it had just been fished from the Ohio River even after it had been washed.

      Liked by 1 person

  15. HAHAHAH..oh man. Yeah..I remember these days. Kids are funny. And they dress funny on their own.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. This may be exactly why I agreed to military school.


  17. Sounds like your boys may be about to do a remake of “Parents Just Don’t Understand”…


  18. It gets worse when they get to university. Apparently mine goes to his lectures in pajama pants. I’m so glad I’m not there to witness it.


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