That Song That Made Me Cry

Darkness blanketed the scenery. Not a single cloud littered the night sky. The stars wanly illuminated the frosty landscape. The trees were barren. The grass alternating shades of lifeless brown and faded green.  It was the dead of winter and the scene outside of my Ford Windstar certainly confirmed that.

It was January of the year 2000. The new millennium had just started, as had my official journey into fatherhood. My two beautiful baby boys were a month old, and I was on my way to work for the first time since they had come crashing into my life and completely swept me off of my feet. The stereo, as it always is when driving alone, was blaring, playing a CD of mixed songs I had made.

The song began playing just as I was pulling up to a red light. I had heard the song numerous times before. I knew the words by heart. This was, however, the first time I had listened to this song since the birth of my boys. I now had feelings to associate with this song. I could identify with it. I could see the song from a completely different perspective now. I had an emotional connection to it now. I could relate to it in a way I never could before. I was also completely drained from a lack of sleep.

It moved me. It overwhelmed me.

The song spoke of a father’s relationship with his son over the years. The times shared and the memories made. And in the end, on his wedding day, the son tells his father he’s been dreaming of being just like him.

Dad, this could be the best day of my life. I’ve been dreaming day and night of being like you.

I might have wrecked were I not at a red light. My eyes quickly filled with tears. A lump materialized in my throat. I began to sob softly. I wanted that relationship with my children. Though they were barely out of their mother’s womb, I was already looking forward to the day when they would look up to me. To aspire to be like me. To cherish their time with me. To want to spend time with me.

There have been times over the years that they emulated me. They used to flex their little arms and tell everyone how they wanted to grow up big and strong like daddy. They like to listen to the same music I do. Mostly. I have infected them with my love of Michigan and Cincinnati Bengals football. They acquired their love of pizza and buffalo chicken from me, so much so that we used to leave buffalo chicken instead of cookies for Santa.

Just me and you, doin’ what I’ve always wanted to. I’m the luckiest boy alive. This is the best day of my life.

Of course, now that I’m older, wiser, and quite aware of how fallible I am, I’d prefer that they become better men than me.

Fifteen years later, I’m not sure if they want to be like me or not. Of course, I’m not going to ask a teenager if he aspires to be like either of his parents, as I’m sure I know the answer to that question. I’m like, totes uncool, I’m sure. However, we have a veritable treasure trove of memories that I will hold dear until the day I am no longer a part of this world, and I hope they hold those memories as dear as I do.

One thing is for certain. My love for them has grown impossibly since that day.

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About Twindaddy (336 Articles)
Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

15 Comments on That Song That Made Me Cry

  1. You needed a hanky alert for this one!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Scott, I met you over at Sister Wives and see at various blogs. I’m not a stalker LOL. Just thought I would stop over and see what you write about. What a beautiful post on what if feels like to become a father. George Strait is one of my mom’s favorites, my brother’s favorite as well. 🙂

    Like

    • Hi, Lisa! Thank you! I write a little bit of everything. Basically, whatever is in my head when I sit down at the computer.

      PS. I already have a stalker, but I’ll take more!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. you have such a good heart. I’m sure your boys will always be proud to be like you when they are older. Parents being totes uncool at this age to them is mandatory and be sure you do it proud. Represent!
    Then 20 yrs from now, dinner stories will be classic solid gold memories retold.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love when you write about your kids, because it is either always funny or always touching…. And your love for them is just so wonderful.

    Like

  5. Thank you so much for sharing Scott. That was a very touching piece.

    Like

  6. Lisa @ The Meaning of Me // December 6, 2014 at 5:23 pm // Reply

    Yeah. I am still fascinated how various thing hold such different meaning on this side.

    Like

  7. I have been a bit absent, I am glad I didn’t miss this one. Should I tell you from the great distance of age all my brothers cherish their memories of our father and their times with him. All my brothers have a great huge glossy cover over his imperfections and still wish to be like him. Sons and fathers, they are magical.

    Liked by 1 person

    • “Sons and fathers, they are magical.”

      I think it depends on the relationship. I know many sons who can’t stand their fathers. I do my best to strike a balance between discipline and having fun with them. Of course, the better they behave the more fun we’ll have…

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