It’s Not Goodbye, It’s See You Later

I think the time has come for me to officially acknowledge what’s become readily apparent: I’ve taken a huge step back from blogging.

I began blogging back in late 2010. I was in a geeky phase and playing around with web hosting. I wanted to see if I could run a website from home, but couldn’t decide what type of site I should launch, so I settled on a blog.

A couple of months later my internet provider shut me down. Evidently they expect to be paid a bit more money if you want to host your own website. Philistines. The damage was done, however. I had caught writing fever.

I migrated my blog to WordPress and have been banging away at my keyboard ever since.

For a time I was posting with the ferocity and determination of an ant carrying food back to the colony. I published a new post daily. Sometimes multiple times per day. I had that option. My job was all downtime. My salary was being paid mostly to fill a seat. I went to work and surfed the internet for most of my days.

I also had plenty to get off of my chest. An abusive first wife and the resulting divorce when I finally reached the end of my rope. A history of depression. A plethora of opinions on the sad state of the world today. Then, my second divorce and subsequent trip into a rabbit hole of drunkenness, darkness, and emotional chaos.

I’ve learned a lot about myself through blogging. Most of what I learned was gained insight from comments left by you, my faithful (for some reason) readers. I’ve also learned a great deal from, in turn, reading your blogs. I’ve learned that I’m far from the only person who wages a perpetual battle with inner demons. I’ve learned I’m not alone in my struggle to live a balanced life with imbalanced chemicals in my head. I’ve learned just how imperfect I am, but also just how okay that is. Exposure to a myriad of different perspectives and draining my emotions into words has forced me to analyze who I am, what I want, and where I’ve been.

Things have changed, as they have a tendency to do. I no longer have a job that affords me hours a day to spend reading and writing. I have stopped drinking multiple days a week, which has finally let my medication work as it’s designed to. Most of my financial burdens have been resolved. I have told all of my stories and feel I have little left to say.

I’m ready to move on. I feel like I have healed. I have a good idea of what I want, where I want to go, and how to get there.

Real life commands what little free time I have. An attention-hungry four-year-old becomes displeased and grumpy with every second I don’t devote my attention to him. I have regained interest in the things I used to do before darkness ripped away my desire to live any sort of meaningful life. I’m finding enjoyment in gaming again. I’m becoming a bit more social again. I actually want to get out of the house and do things again. I’m rebuilding a very important bridge that I, in my fury, torched to the ground like a pyromaniac with idle hands.

Over the last five years I have made a lot of amazing connections, and gained some fabulous friends. I’ve also been taught bitter lessons by broken people with anger aflame in their hearts. I’ve laughed. I’ve cried. I’ve learned. I’ve become a better writer. I’ve become, I believe, a better friend, father, and person. Blogging has undoubtedly been an eye-opening adventure, and one that I’m glad to have embarked upon.

This blog will stay right here, though I’ll probably change the name when I come up with one I like. I feel like I have finally found myself and so Finding Twindaddy is no longer relevant. I will probably continue to write sporadically like I have been these past few months. I still get the urge to put paper to pen (metaphorically speaking, of course) every now and again. I will try to make my way to your blogs when I can to see how you’re all doing. I will try to lend my support to my writer friends when I can. There are many of you and you’re all amazing and you all deserve success.

If you’d like to keep up with me, the twins, and Baby C, feel free to find me on Facebook or Google+, or you can always reach me via email at twindaddy44@outlook.com.

I appreciate you all, even those of you who taught me lessons I wasn’t necessarily looking to learn. Thank you for being there for me in my moments of need, and know that if you ever need, I can make time for you.

So long, and be well. This is not goodbye, though, it’s only see you later.

stormtrooperdhs
Hasta lasagna, don’t get any on ya!

85 thoughts on “It’s Not Goodbye, It’s See You Later

    1. Thanks, Suzie! I’m feeling better now than I have in a very long time. It’s hard to digest and part of the reason I waited so long to acknowledge it.

      I check in on Facebook often, and G+ and Twitter far less frequently, but feel free to find me over there!

      Have you decided what you’re going to do career-wise? And is there a link to a post about why you left your job? I’m quite curious…

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m happy that things are working out for you. Although I will be very honest I really do miss your many blog posts. I’ll read your sparing posts though (hugs) And yay for re-building bridges. 🙂

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    1. I have a whole bunch of posts saved from the old blog that I meant to republish here, but I just never got around to it. My heart’s into other things now.

      Maybe one day my passion for writing will return, but for the last few months that fire has been extinguished.

      We can always keep up with each other on Facebook.

      Like

  2. I’m torn between a sadness at the thought of you stepping back from writing, you are so talented, you know? And the want to congratulate you, on finding yourself, on taking the time for yourself, on growing… You’re awesome and deserve every part of this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura, you are one of the most amazing people I’ve met here. That someone as talented as you thinks I’m even the slightest bit talented blows me away.

      Thank you for your continued friendship and support.

      Liked by 1 person

          1. My last two posts tell the saga. The most recent was the attempt to be funny now that I’m done with surgery, the previous was more angst /fear /anger filled.

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  3. Even though I miss you blogging and seeing you in my comment section, this post makes me SO happy. I love that life is “enough” for you right now…and a happy “enough” on top of that. You deserve this. You are a great blog friend to so many, and I know we are celebrating all these good things in your life in the same way you have celebrated with us. See ya around Facebook!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I completely relate to your story Scott…why you began blogging, the furiousity with which you blogged, what you learned about yourself and life because of it, the connections made and now how life and less to say has come in between it. I’m with you my friend. And I’m so grateful to have met you along the way. I absolutely love what you said about changing the name of your blog and why. May the force stay with you my friend, as you continue to move forward. 😉

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  5. I’m happy for you to infinity. So glad our paths crossed in this bloggy world. Best of everything and my email will be waiting for your posts, however sporadic. I’m glad you have found yourself. It’s the most for which we can hope. Take care, Scott. LJ.

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  6. I’m so glad for you, TD. It is a long and well earned healing that you have. And you know, friends don’t have to see each other all the time to stay friends. We can pick up the conversation whenever …

    Liked by 1 person

  7. So long, you ole’ rattlesnake. Don’t forget, you can blog about the joyful things, too. I’m glad blogging heaved you over the tall fence of your struggles, but you can drop us delightful posts like this one once in a while, as well. I’m not trying to run your show. Just letting you know. Hi-de-ho.

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    1. I do know that, but my heart’s just not into it right now with everything else I have going on. For the last few years I’ve had a need to write. A compelling. I don’t have that anymore.

      I’m sure I’ll get that itch some day…or even occasionally, which is why this little blot on the internet will stay right here.

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  8. I’m happy to hear that your life has improved so much that blogging no longer makes it any better. 🙂
    So now, maybe you’ll write only because you want to, not because you have to. And i’m sure you will want to, because I can feel that the blogging force is strong with this one.
    And so, I’ll see you later – hopefully, sooner than later.

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    1. Thanks, X. Hopefully I never find myself in a position where I need to write, but if I do I have a place to go.

      PS. I’m still kinda bummed Trevor Noah will be taking over the Daily Show instead of you. You got jobbed.

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      1. Exactly – I hope there are more 10 things of thankful posts coming up, for example.
        Thanks. I wasn’t really upset about the Daily Show. Now, Colbert getting Letterman’s job over, that was crushing news.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Good to hear you sounding so positive on life Scott. it has been a pleasure and I hope that life continues to improve for you. Take care my friend.

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    1. Thank you, Paul. Thank you so much for reading so faithfully and for all of your insightful comments. Hope things are going well for you, too, my friend.

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    1. Lol. Don’t worry, I’ll check in every once in a while. I can’t completely abandon a place that has meant so much to me and helped me heal.

      I’ll duck in every so often and say hello.

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  10. I put off reading this because I thought it would say something about you blogging less, but actually, your reasons are brilliant and your priorities are spot on, and I think the thing I like least is that there’s nothing I can argue with.

    Catch you on FB, my BTFFFL.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lizzi, my door (and windows and vents and any other way in) is always open to you. You are and have been an amazing friend to me and I am ready and willing to return the favor should you ever need. You have every conceivable way to contact me available to you and you are more than welcome to use any and all of them.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. If it weren’t for blogging I would never have met you, and you are a true friend. Those are few and far between in the world. I am grateful for that. I am so proud of you! You have come so far and learnt so much. You really are a super trooper x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Likewise, Steph. We’ve both come a long way these past two years. We’ve endured much and I believe we are both better for it. Stay amazing and when your busy life allows, feel free to drop a line to your best American friend. And keep waving that colorful flag.

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  12. Oh Scott, as sad as I feel about our loss now that we won’t be gifted with your brilliant words as often, I am equally happy for you and the “place” you have reached in your life after so many months and years of torment. You are an incredible human being who has a lot to offer others. And you’re a damn good Daddy as well! I am glad that I’ll be able to keep tabs on you on FB to make sure you are staying out of trouble. Thanks for always being there for me. 😍😍😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gracias, mi amiga. I’m glad you’re on Facebook now, too, so that I can keep up with you and your antics. You’ve always been incredibly supportive and I’m so glad that we met.

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  13. Everyone else has already said it, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve been so pleased that you are healing and in a much better place. But I’ve missed you around my parts as well 🙂

    I will miss you but will still bug you from time to time.

    Ann
    xoxoxox

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  14. I’m so happy that you are doing so well and ready to move forward. I know exactly how you feel about being healed and it is a wonderful feeling. Now go give that 4 year old some more attention before he finds something else to pee on!
    All the best to you and the boys….I’m very happy your happy.

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    1. It really does. I found that out when I began writing about my first marriage years ago. It was like a weight I didn’t even know I had been carrying had been lifted.

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  15. Hey, Scott. I wish you absolutely the best. I love that you are moving forward in positive and exciting directions. Hooray! I know I’m following you on FB, but I probably need to add Google+. I’m bad at Google+.
    I understand where you’re coming from with this. I started my blog without much thought, really, other than I felt I needed to pour out my frustration when my husband very suddenly had his job eliminated and I was stuck working for the place that did it. Since he started his new one several months ago and I quit working there, I’ve found my blog content floundering. Can’t figure out what to do with it so most days I just don’t. I treasure the friends and connections I’ve made, though, so I definitely want to keep that element.
    Best to you and your boys!

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    1. Thanks, Lisa! Blogging definitely has undeniable therapeutic qualities. Writing when I “need” to is easy. I just don’t need to anymore. At least, not now. Writing because I want to is a bit harder. I like to write, but when I’m content content is difficult to come up with.

      I’m glad that you no longer “need” to write either. It’s a huge relief, ain’t it?

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  16. This post makes me happy. While I miss your frequent posts, I hear the contentment in your “voice” and it sounds like you are moving into the next phase of your life. I hope you never give up writing because you have a gift. And I think it’s safe to say that we’ve all learned a lot from you, thank you for that. See you soon, my friend.

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    1. Thank you for your kind words, Gretchen. I would ask what anyone could have possibly learned from me, but I think I laid out a pretty clear “what not to do” list…

      I’ll be sneaking in every now and again. And we always have Facebook.

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  17. I started reading this and was prepared to be sad but I couldn’t help but feel happy for you and if you have to go I’m glad that it is because you have reached a good place and life is going well. I’ve enjoyed reading your posts, I thank you for all of your support, and I am so grateful to be able to count you among the friends I have made in the sphere. You’re a good man, Scott, and I wish you all the good things.
    I’ll see you around, my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Sandy. I’m sure this isn’t goodbye, but merely a “I’ll be back someday.” I just don’t have anything more to say right now. Or the time with which to say it.

      We’ll keep up on Facebook, for sure. I normally have time to check that in the morning, at least, cause COFFEH.

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I hope you continue to write Scott, whether here or journals or wherever. You are talented and it is I think a great outlet in our real lives. I will find you and follow you on journey. I get the need to step back, I also do it, slowing down my blogging (though not my writing). Good luck and honestly, congratulations also.

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  19. Hhmnn…. Lasagne. With garlic bread I hope!

    How about “journeys of twindaddy”? Or “Twindaddy: Life, the universe and everything”? Just ideas to get you thinking for when you’re next back. 😉

    See you on FB. Xxx

    Like

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