Accidentally On Purpose (complex adjective) – when you attempt to do something and end up doing something completely different instead
So I was having a serious conversation with the twins last night (that’s what I do, peeps, I’m all business all the time) because I evidently love banging my head against the wall and causing my mind to suffer excruciating pain.
When I told them I was planning on taking them with me to work a few times over the summer, they both released painful sighs. “Why?” One of them asked in a tone which suggested I had demanded he listen to Justin Bieber on endless repeat.
“So you can see what it’s like to work with computers and maybe decide if that’s something you want to pursue after you graduate.”
“Oh…that’s a good idea.”
No shit, Sherlock, I thought.
Somehow the conversation then devolved into their skill sets, during which Baby A claimed that he’s already a good cook.
I laughed heartily, then politely called him on his bullshit.
I reminded him of the time that I made him cook dinner because he made some insipid comment about he and his brother having to do everything around the house and that he attempted manslaughter by serving me under-cooked sausage.
“Wait a minute!” Baby A retorted, “Manslaughter is when you kill someone accidentally. You can’t accidentally attempt something.”
Damn him. He had been paying attention that day in English class. “You tried to kill me and your brother with raw turkey sausage. And you’re grounded.”
“What???” Baby A cried.
“And you can accidentally attempt to do something.” I added.
“It’s not possible,” Baby A said defiantly.
“It is, and I’ll explain. See, once upon a time I attempted to get your mother pregnant. On purpose. I succeeded. What I accidentally did was get her pregnant twice at once, and this,” I said while gesturing to Baby B, “is what became of that accident.”
“Hey!!” Baby B cried, indignant.
“So you see,” I concluded, “you can purposefully do something accidentally.”