I’ve had a desire the past few days to post something here, but one of two things has kept me from doing so. I’m either completely out of ideas, or, when I have one, completely unmotivated.
I always have fun with questionnaires, though, so I figured that would be an easy way for me to get something posted here. Let the interrogation begin!
1. Last beverage:
SoCo and Diet Coke.
2. Last phone call:
The last call I received was some random number from Connecticut. The last one I actually answered was from Baby B telling me he was hungry and asking when we’d be eating lunch.
3. Last song you listened to:
4. Last time you cried:
At my ex-MIL’s funeral. RIP, Judy. You are missed. Always.
5. Have you dated someone twice:
My ex-wife. Never again.
6. Have you ever been cheated on:
Probably, but not that I know of.
7. Kissed someone & regretted it:
Every single one of them.
8. Have you lost someone special:
Judy. Aunt Shirley. Uncle Tom. Uncle Dave. Grandma.
9. What are your three favorite colors:
Red. Black. Um….yeah. That’s all.
10. Met someone who changed you in the past month:
Nope. I’ve been potty-trained for nearly 40 years.
11. Kissed anyone on your friends list:
Only in their dreams.
12. How many kids do you want:
I have three. No more are necessary.
13. Do you want any pets:
No. I’m sure I’d probably benefit emotionally from having a dog in the house, but I just don’t want any more responsibility than I already have.
14. Do you want to change your name:
What’s wrong with Twindaddy? It’s a GREAT name!
15. What did you do for your last birthday:
I haven’t the slightest idea. It was almost a year ago.
16. What time did you wake up today:
When my eyes opened.
17. Name something you CANNOT wait for:
18. Last time you saw your mother:
19. Most visited webpage:
Twindaddy, TD, asshole, Dad, Father, Daddy, honkey…
21. Relationship status:
22. Zodiac sign:
23. Male or female:
Are you asking what I am or what I want? Is this some sort of test to see which bathroom I should be using? Am I in North Carolina?
5’ foot 7”.
25. Do you have a crush on someone:
No. It’s been probably 4 years since I’ve felt anything close to that.
Well, there’s that place on my foot where I dropped a knife that one time…
What about them?
28. Strong or Weak:
I’m fairly stout.
29. First surgery:
Putting the finger tip I lost back on my finger.
30. First best friend:
Hmmm…I think his name was Josh.
31. First sport you joined:
Soccer. Or futbol if you’re from any other part of the world than here.
32. First vacation:
I’m sure it was a visit to my grandmother’s house.
33. First school:
A.M. Yealey. I think I spent more time with the principal than with my actual teacher. Funny story: My dad lives by that school now. Last Halloween while trick-or-treating we passed by it and I pointed out to Baby C that that’s where I went to Kindergarten. He looked and asked simply, “Do they have candy?” Sigh…
34. First pair of trainers:
Um…like on my bike? I don’t remember if I used them.
WHICH IS BETTER
35. Lips or eyes:
Depends on whose lips or eyes we’re discussing.
36. Hugs or kisses:
Hugs. Always hugs.
37. Shorter or taller:
Depends on the circumstance. If I’m playing basketball, taller. If I’m trying to get in my compact SUV, shorter.
38. Older or younger:
Age ain’t nuttin’ but a number.
39. Romantic or spontaneous:
Spontaneous. Romance is overrated and often disingenuous.
40. Sensitive or loud:
Sensitive. Loud people annoy me.
41. Hook-up or relationship:
Relationship. I’ve never understood the need for nightly conquests. It seems so…empty.
42. Shy or outgoing:
I don’t have a preference, really. I typically keep to myself unless I’m around people I’m comfortable with.
HAVE YOU EVER
43. Kissed a stranger:
I don’t think so.
44. Gotten a speeding ticket:
Oh, yeah. When I was 18/19 I got like 3 in a 6-month span. Almost lost my license.
45. Lost glasses/contacts:
I’ve never lost my glasses, but I have left them home a couple of times and only realized it after I got to work.
46. Sex on first date:
47. Broken someone’s heart:
48. Been arrested:
49. Have you turned someone down:
Yeah. It’s an awkward thing to have to do.
50. Fallen for a friend:
51. Moved out of town:
Shit. I’ve moved over 30 times in my life. Most recently I moved to Indiana. I HATE moving.
There are things I may refer to as miracles, but I don’t believe in divine intervention. Shit just happens, good or bad, fair or not.
53. Love at first sight:
No. Love takes time to develop.
I’m honestly not sure if there is Heaven or not. But every now and again, while playing with Baby C, I wonder if his Grannie and Uncle are looking down. I wonder if they think I’m a good father.
55. Santa Claus:
Well, no. I’m Santa in my house and I don’t believe in me. I mean, last year I got the twins gifts that were too big for their stockings. Santa fail.
56. Kiss on the first date:
That depends on the date.
I don’t follow baseball anymore so I have no idea whether they’re worth believing in.
I have confidence in myself when it comes to some things, but with most things I always feel like I’m about to fuck something up.
59. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time:
60. Been in love with someone you couldn’t be with?:
61. Ever cheated on somebody:
The Monopoly guy. I took $200 without passing Go.
62. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?:
I’d go back to 2012 and avoid every fucking mistake I’ve made in the last 5 years.
63. Are you afraid of falling in love:
64. Was your last relationship a mistake?
Well, since every one of them has ended horribly, I’d have to say yes. They were all mistakes.
65. Do you miss your last relationship?
Not a bit.
66. Who did you last say “i love you” to?
Baby B as I dropped him off at his mom’s house.
67. Have you ever been depressed?
Almost every day of my life since I was 13.
68. Are you insecure?
In some aspects, yes.
69. How do you want to die?
I don’t. The fuck kinda question is that?
70. Do you bite your nails?
71. When was your last physical fight?
In 5th or 6th grade. The last actual altercation I was in was apprehending a shoplifter when I worked at Wal-Mart.
72. Do you have an attitude?
It depends on the subject. In my professional life I have a pretty decent outlook. With my children, I try to stay upbeat. As I wallow with the skeletons in my closet, though, I’m pretty hard on myself and my outlook for my own life is bleak.
73. Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Twirl. C’mon, it’s no fun if you don’t slurp the noodles up and splatter spaghetti sauce all over the place.
74. Do you tan a lot?
I don’t purposely set out to tan, but I do tan fairly easily.
75. Ever eaten food in a car while someone or you are driving?
Every road trip.
76. Ever made out in a bathroom?
77. Would you take any of your exes back?
Not a chance.
78. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Um, to 2012. Didn’t I just answer this question?
79. What are your plans for this weekend?
To survive. And perhaps restrain myself from going upstairs and kicking the shit out of the people up there making it sound like a thunderstorm is coming through.
80. Do you type fast?
Last time I timed it I typed about 50 words per minute.
81. Can you spell well?
I can haz spelling.
82: What are you craving right now?
83. Have you ever been on a horse?
I’ve been on a pony. Does that count?
84. Would you live with someone without marrying them?
That’s probably the only way I’ll ever have another relationship. I don’t ever see myself putting a golden shackle on my ring finger again.
85. What’s irritating you right now?
The fucktards upstairs shaking the entire house.
86. Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
87. Does somebody love you?
Oh, who knows? I feel like my children do. Beyond that I wouldn’t assume anyone else does.
88. Have you ever changed clothes in a car?
I’m sure I have.
89. Milk chocolate or white chocolate?
How about chocolate milk? Why does it have to be so tasty?
90. Do you have trust issues?
91. Longest relationship?
9 years, though it wasn’t so much a relationship as it was a prison sentence.
92: Do you believe your most recent ex thinks about you?
I honestly don’t care if she does or not. Frankly, I feel like she sometimes makes up reasons to talk to me and I wish she wouldn’t.
93. Have you ever walked outside in your PJs?
Yup. If I need to grab something from the car I’ll do that.
94. Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
I used to. Now I think life just happens and you better be ready to adapt to the fast-paced changes.
95. Did you have a dream last night?
I did, but it was completely awkward and I can only remember like 5 seconds of it.
96. Have you ever been out of state?
Which state? I’ve lived in 5 of them.
97. Do you play the Wii?
Regularly. Baby C is obsessed with Mario so we’re always playing some Mario game on the Wii.
98. Do you like Chinese food?
99. Are you afraid of the dark?
I’m not afraid of the absence of light, but I’m a little intimidated by darkness.
100. Is cheating ever okay?
Never. If you’re unhappy, remove yourself from the situation.
101. What year has been your best?
It’s a tie for 1999 and 2011.
102. Do you believe in true love?
I believe it exists, but is extremely rare.
103. Favorite weather?
104. Do you like the snow?
Um…I just said SNOW!!!
105. Do you like the outside?
Not in the Summer. I can’t stand being hot.
106. Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
107. Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?
Probably. I don’t typically time myself, though. Kind of a turn off, ya know.
108. What makes you happy?
109. Ever been to Alaska?
Would LOVE to go to Alaska.
110. Ever been to Hawaii?
Not really interested.
111. Do you watch the news?
Fuck no. I already have too many reasons to be depressed. I don’t need to add to that list.
112. Do you love MTV?
I’ve never really loved MTV. Haven’t really cared about it since Beavis and Butthead went off the air, though.
113. Do you like subway?
I like it well enough.
114 Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
115. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Hell if I know. I’m hopelessly awkward.
116. Why did you decide to do this quiz?
I was bored and wanted to post something new.
117. Have you ever seen someone you knew and purposely avoided them?
118. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
119. Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Someone at work.
120. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
I don’t know. I can’t even remember having one recently.
121. Ever bought condoms?
122. Ever gotten pregnant?
Um…I don’t think so, but I’ve been showing for about 20 years.
123. Have you ever slipped on ice?
124 Have you ever missed the bus?
Probably. That was a long time ago, though. I don’t remember that.
125. Have you left the house without money?
Money? Money… why do I feel like I should know what that is?
126. Have you ever smoked cigarettes?
That’s one bad habit I can say I’ve never had.
127. Have you ever smoked a cigar?
128. Did you ever drink alcohol?
Entirely too often over the last few years.
129. Did you ever watch “The Breakfast Club”?
I’m sure I’ve seen it at some point.
130. Have you ever been overweight?
Damn near my whole life.
131. Ever been to a wedding?
Well, yeah. Two of them were mine. Whoops.
132. Ever been in a wedding?
Um, yeah. Two of them were mine. Whoa. Déjà vu.
133. Have you ever been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
I work in IT. I spend most of my days at a computer of some sort.
134. Did you ever watch TV for 5 hours straight?
Yup. When I’m sick I normally binge watch all the Star Wars movie while sprawled out on the couch under a mountain of blankets and used tissues.
135. Ever kissed in the rain?
I’m sure I have, but it was so inconsequential that I don’t remember it.
136. Did you ever shower with someone else?
Well, yeah. My wives. My kids (when they were young, you sickos!).
137. Did you ever fail a driver’s test?
Yup. I took driver’s ed in Ohio but my test in Kentucky. A couple of things were different. I went back the next week and aced it.
138. Ever been outside your home country?
Almost. Some asshole drivers in Detroit wouldn’t let me off the interstate and I almost ended up in Windsor.
139. Ever been on a road trip longer than 5 hours?
More times than I can count.
140. Ever been to a professional sports game?
Lots. Reds. Bengals. Braves. Falcons. Pistons.
141. Have you ever broken a bone?
I had my nose fractured by a baseball. That was…unpleasant.
142. Did you ever win a trophy in your life?
I played a lot of sports growing up. I’m sure I won one at some point.
143. Ever get engaged?
Seriously? I’ve already told you I’ve been married twice. Neither of them were shotgun weddings.
144. Have you ever been on a diet?
145. Have you ever been on TV?
I was on some cable television program in 2nd grade. Don’t remember what it was for, though.
146. Ever ridden in a taxi?
147. Ever been to prom?
Never had an interest in it.
148. Ever stayed up for 24 hours or more?
149 Have you ever been to a concert?
I’ve been to a handful of them. Not much of a fan of live music.
150. Have you ever had a crush on someone at work?
Yeah. Bad idea.
151. Have you ever been in a car accident?
Yes, but nothing horrible.
152. Ever had braces?
153. Did you ever learn another language?
I took three years of Spanish, but then forgot it all since I didn’t have anyone to converse with in Spanish.
154. Do you wear make-up?
Um, no. Frankly, I’m not sure why anyone wears it. I think people look better without it.
155. Did you ever have your wisdom teeth taken out?
No. My mouth is still a wealth of knowledge.
156. Did you ever kiss someone a different race than yourself?
157. Ever dyed your hair?
158. Did you ever wear someone else’s clothes?
Yeah, when I was a kid I’d sometimes wear my brother’s clothes.
159. Ever ridden in an ambulance?
Not yet *knocks on wood*
160. Ever ridden in a helicopter?
You’ll never get me on one of those contraptions.
161. Ever caught the stove on fire?
Lol, no, but my mom has.
162. Ever meet someone famous?
I’ve met a few Bengals players over the years.
163. Ever been on an airplane?
I’ve been on one, but never flown. Doubt I ever will. Not a fan.
164. Ever been on a boat?
165. Ever broken something expensive?
Another person’s heart.
166. Did you ever kiss someone before you were 14?
167. Did you ever find something valuable on the ground?
Just my dignity. Oh, valuable? I found a money clip once. Had about $30 in it.