It’s time for another interview with your favorite trooper! No, no. Not FN2187. TD421! (Me.)
- Did your mother go to college? She did. And she rocked it.
- Do you believe ignorance is bliss? Why or why not? Yes. If you’re ignorant of all the shitty things going on in this world there’s nothing to be depressed about. I wish I were ignorant.
- Do you believe in love at first sight? I didn’t until I became a father.
- Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)? I belong to no one.
- Do you carry a donor card? Well, my driver’s license says I’m a donor, so I guess?
- Do you eat breakfast every morning? Like a boss.
- Do you have a best friend, if so, then who? I do, and stop being so nosy.
- Do you have a catchphrase? I didn’t get that assignment, so I didn’t turn it in.
- Do you have a garden? I have a garden hose. Does that count? I used to have a garden gnome, too, but it disappeared many moves ago. I also downloaded Plants vs Zombies…
- Do you have a hidden dream that you’ve never shared with anyone? Like a dream that I had in my sleep or a dream I’d one day like to accomplish? Either way…no.
- Do you have a tattoo? Nope. My body is not a canvas. It’s more like the Stay-Puft Marshmellow Man.
- Do you have a whole lot of acquaintances or just a few very close friends? Why? Very few close friends, mostly because people suck.
- Do you have any allergies? Oh, yeah. I’m allergic to damn near everything in nature. And stupid people.
- Do you have any birthmarks? If so, where? Not that I’m aware of. I mean, there could be one on my ass and I’d never know. My neck just doesn’t bend that way.
- Do you have pets? Two little annoying minpins. STOP FUCKING BARKING!!!
- Do you hold any convictions that you would be willing to die for? Nope. I’ve never even been arrested.
- Do you know a hoarder? I live with one. Dammit…
- Do you know any triplets? I know one.
- Do you know how to pump your own gas? In more than one way.
- Do you love dancing? Hell no.
- Do you love your job? I don’t know about love, but I don’t dislike it, and that’s saying a lot.
- Do you prefer kissing or cuddling? Cuddling FTW!
- Do you prefer that people shoot straight with you or temper their words? Why? People who don’t shoot straight have terrible aim, so….. Seriously, though, shoot straight. Be honest. Don’t fuck with people.
- Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? How about Terminator? Or Star Wars? The Matrix? Honestly, Titanic isn’t a bad movie after it hits the iceberg….
- Do you really know all the words to your national anthem? I think so.Wait, I think I got the wrong thing…
Interview With a Trooper – Episode IX
Interview With a Trooper – Episode VIII
My Mother’s Shoes
The “Gift” That Keeps On Giving
Interview With a Trooper – Episode VII – The Sarcasm Awakens
Interview With a Trooper – Episode VI – Return of the Sarcasm
Interview With a Trooper – Episode V
Interview With a Trooper – Part 2(+2)
Interview With a Trooper – Part 33 1/3