Welcome to the continuing saga of an almost 350 question interview which I have decided to break down into parts because I’m lazy, don’t feel like answering them all at once, and spare you from overdosing on my idiocy. Here are some more questions!!!
- Do you remember your dreams? I’ve never really remembered my dreams. However, since mom died she’s visited me in my sleep more times than I can count. I don’t remember my entire dreams, but I remember the parts with her. Each time I see her I get excited, then remember she’s gone and then hide somewhere and cry.
- Do you save old greeting cards and letters? Throw them away? I used to, but now I get rid of them unless they have sentimental value.
- Do you see the glass as half empty or half full? Depends on what’s in it.
- Do you sing in the shower? Oh, hell yeah. I rock that shit.
- Do you sleep with the lights on or off? Who can sleep with the lights on?
- Do you spell the color as grey or gray? I spell it correctly.
- Do you take any pills or medication daily? Sadly, yes. The voices tell me they keep me sane.
- Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? Didn’t we already cover this? What shoddy journalism. #fakenews
- Does your name make any interesting anagrams? I’ve never tried….
- Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? WHY?? Seriously, why do these exist? Beauty pageants are some of the most chauvinist, superficial things man has ever created.
- Have you ever been to Olive Garden? MMmmmmm….breadsticks.
- Have you ever dated two people at a time? Not dated….
- Have you ever had Indian food? I don’t think so.
- Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school? Yes! Stupid catholic school….
- Have you ever ridden on a motorbike? Nope. I don’t think going that fast with nothing between me and the road is intelligent.
- Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? Yup. I can even speak whale.
- Have you ever suffered a fracture? Yup. Pro tip: playing catcher without a catcher’s mask is NOT a good idea.
- Have you ever taken karate lessons? Does watching Karate Kid count?
- Have you ever taken self-defense lessons? Nope.
- Have you ever urinated in a pool? I’m sure I did when I was a kid.
- Have you ever visited a country outside your continent? I’ve never visited another country IN my continent…
- Have you ever won a trophy or an award? What was it for? Sure, when I played sports as a kid.
- Have you forgiven yourself for past personal failures? Why or why not? I haven’t really forgiven myself, but I don’t dwell on them anymore. They still haunt me occasionally, but for the most part they are buried in the past.
- Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? Which one is your favorite? No, no, and hell no.
- How and where do you prefer to study? By myself in a quiet place which I can never seem to find anymore with all these kids in the house.
The “Gift” That Keeps On Giving
Interview With a Trooper – Episode VII – The Sarcasm Awakens
Interview With a Trooper – Episode VI – Return of the Sarcasm
Interview With a Trooper – Episode V
Interview With a Trooper – Part 2(+2)
Interview With a Trooper – Part 33 1/3
Interview With A Trooper – Part Deux
Interview With a Trooper – Part 1
One Slipped Through The Cracks