Guten tag! It’s almost the weekend! I’ve been posting these on Saturdays, but tomorrow I’ll be in the middle of my umpteenth move. Evidently my landlord is such a drunken, abusive ass that his wife kicked him out and he needs a place to live, so he basically told us to get out.
Today is also Black Friday here in ‘Merica, the day people go out and beat each other senseless for stupid shit on sale for stupid cheap the day after allegedly giving thanks for stupid things they already have. How stupid.
Perhaps I’m jaded (perhaps?!?!), but having worked 13 Black Fridays (or Blitz, as a certain store whose name rhymes with Ballmart refers to it) I have a very dark view of most humans. If you’re out shopping today, just know I think you’re crazy and brave at the same time, and I hope you’re not one of those morons who ends up on the news.
Well, enough of that. Let’s get to the interview!
- How are you different from your Dad? He’s conservative, I lean a little to the left. I’m funny, he’s not (hi dad!). I can see multiple points of view. I’m not sure he can. Otherwise, we’re quite similar.
- How are you different from your Mother? Mom was loyal to people who mistreated her. I am to a point, but eventually reach a point where I’m done and cut that person (or people) out. I’m a little more self-motivated than she was. She was kind of a slob, and I prefer my house to be clean(ish).
- How are you feeling right now? Well, I just answered a questions about my mom, so I’m a little bummed out.
- How are you glad that you are like your Dad? Dad is intelligent and really good at fixing/building things. I like to believe I am, too.
- How are you glad that you are like your Mother? Mom was intelligent, too, and extremely funny and loving. I like to think I have those qualities.
- How difficult is it for you to be honest, even when your words may be hurtful or unpopular? Being honest comes very naturally to me, but doing so when my words may hurt the recipient is extremely hard for me and something I often avoid way past the point of return.
- How difficult is it for you to forgive someone who refuses to apologize? I can’t forgive some things even if the person apologizes.
- How do you replenish your energy? I use a charger. Duh.
- How does music matter to you? Music is life. It’s how I cope. And I love to sing along.
- How far away from your birthplace do you live now? About 250 miles. As the crow flies. Or something.
- How has your birth order/characteristics of siblings affected you? Hell, I don’t know. I can’t peer into the past and then from there into a different future and see things being any different whether I was the first child (I am) or the last.
- How many Boyfriends/Girlfriends have you had? I don’t know. Don’t feel like driving down memory lane to get a count, either.
- How many countries have you been to? This one.
- How many days could you last in solitary confinement? I doubt I’d make it a day before going nuts.
- How many keys on your key ring? All of them.
- How many oceans have you swum in? I’ve SWAM in the Atlantic a handful of times, you illiterate stooge.
- How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? Uh, four?
- How many relationships have you been in? Serious relationships? 3.
- How many rings before you answer the phone? My ring tone is continuous so one…if I even answer. I don’t like talking to people so I normally let it go to my voicemail, which isn’t setup. It’s a nice way to avoid feeling obligated to call people back.
- How many tattoos do you have? We did this already!!!
- How many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror? No more than necessary.
- How often do you doodle? What do your doodles look like? This is quite a personal question I don’t feel comfortable answering. How rude. Perv.
- How often do you read the newspaper? Which paper? Which sections? I don’t read newspapers. I get my news via Google or Microsoft News.
- How often do you skip breakfast? Much like Hobbits, never.
- How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
The “Gift” That Keeps On Giving
Interview With a Trooper – Episode VII – The Sarcasm Awakens
Interview With a Trooper – Episode VI – Return of the Sarcasm
Interview With a Trooper – Episode V
Interview With a Trooper – Part 2(+2)
Interview With a Trooper – Part 33 1/3
Interview With A Trooper – Part Deux
Interview With a Trooper – Part 1
One Slipped Through The Cracks