Terrorists Say the Darnedest Things

I’ve made a concerted effort recently to spend more time with the twins as I feel like they’ve become forgotten since Baby C flipped our lives upside down a couple of years ago.

Since the weather has gotten cooler we’ve spent a lot of time outside tossing the football around. The twins like to run routes while the other plays defender. I have a pretty good arm and relatively good aim, so we have fun with it.

When the sun sets or rain falls we obviously can’t play outside. So, like every other normal family, we play Xbox. The twins, like most other teenage boys, are into all of the popular games right now. Call of Duty. Gears of War. Halo 4. Games I’m not really interested in playing.

I began rooting through their games a couple of weeks ago looking for a game we could play together as I was tired of playing Madden. After digging through their clusterfuck of games a few moments I came across Rainbow Six Vegas. I used to love playing Rainbow Six: Black Arrow back in the day on the original Xbox. In fact, I spent so much time online playing that game that I met people who lived in Cincinnati that I would eventually meet and become good friends with. So I decided to give the game a try.

RB6 Vegas is not all that different from Black Arrow. I quickly picked up the nuances of the game and soon I was having fun with the twins playing coop in campaign mode. The campaign mode takes you to Las Vegas, where terrorists are wreaking havoc in Sin City. Once we completed campaign mode, we moved on to the terrorist hunts. The terrorist hunts place you in a confined location with a predetermined amount of terrorists. The objective is simple. Find them all and kill them. Good times.

Last week, one of the boys grabbed Rainbow Six Vegas 2 from their mother’s house when I was picking them up and brought it home. We played the coop on that, too, and then moved on to the terrorist hunts.

Image via blog.al.com

The terrorist hunts, to me, are hilarious. The terrorists, for some reason, in all the Rainbow Six games are Mexican. I’ve never read the book (RIP Tom Clancy) so I can only assume that the explanation for that is contained therein. The hilarity is a result of what the terrorist say during the hunts. Sometimes they start babbling in Spanish and I have no idea what they’re saying. Often times, however, they say some of the most off-the-wall shit during combat and it cracks me up.

I decided to compile a list here of some of the funniest quotes from the terrorists here for your enjoyment because jocularity like this should be shared.

Things terrorists say during a firefight:

• Would it help if I ran into the bullets?!
• Lima, Oscar, Lima! Over! (LOL, in case you didn’t get it)
• Mother fucker!!
• Nice try, asshole!
• We’re not running away from you!
• C’mon! I won’t shoot!
• This one’s for Marcello! (said after you’ve killed Marcello)
• Terrorist 1: Cover me!”
  Terrorist 2: Fuck you, man, cover me!
• Why you shootin’ the wall, bitch?

• Terrorist 1: I’m under fire!

  Terrorist 2: Well shoot back!

• Shit! Help!
• Shoot the fuckers!
• Come and get me, bitches!
• We got you now, bitch!

Things terrorists say when one of their own has been killed:

• Hey! That bitch owed me money!
• He’s dead? We’re fucked.
• They killed Marcello!
• Not bad, assholes. Not bad.
• Holy shit!
• Terrorist 1: This is bad…..real BAD!
  Terrorist 2: No shit!
• Terrorist 1: What do we do man?
  Terrorist 2: Grow a pair!

Sometimes I have to actually pause the game until I’m finished laughing. If you have an Xbox 360, I highly recommend you check out this game. It’s fun to play and even funnier to hear.