Mad Libbed: Remembering Joe Delaney

~ Twindaddy

It’s time to play Mad Libs, fuckers!  Get out your funny dictionary and fill in the blanks with funny words so I can laugh at with you.  Post your words in the comments and I will insert them in to the story in your comment so it’s easier to read and laugh at.  Have fun!!

(date)
(number)
(verb – past tense)
(place)
(celebrity)
(profession)
(position – any sport – plural)
(verb – past tense)
(adjective)
(adjective)
(number)
(place)
(verb ending in –ing)
(number)
(verb ending in –ing)
(liquid)
(adjective)
(adjective)
(verb)
(noun)
(verb)
(verb – past tense)
(adjective)
(plural noun)
(adjective)
(plural noun)
(profession)
(another celebrity)

I had never heard of Joe Delaney until (date). I was only (number) when Joe Delaney (verb – past tense) away.

I was making one of my daily stops at (place) when I saw that (celebrity) (the (profession) of the site) had named his annual award for (position – any sport – plural) after Joe Delaney.

I (verb – past tense) on the link provided in the article to find out what was so (adjective) about this man. Well, it’s really quite (adjective). About (number) year(s) removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at (a) (place) (verb ending in –ing). (number) kids were (verb ending in –ing) in a pit of (liquid) and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of (same liquid) to help. Pretty (adjective), right?

That’s not the (adjective) part. The (same adjective) part is that Joe didn’t know how to (verb). He’d never stepped foot into any kind of (same liquid), except for a (noun), up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to (verb) one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys (verb – past tense).
As (adjective) as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are (plural noun) out there who are (adjective) people and suitable (plural noun). Next time you’re reading about another (profession) getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every (same profession) should aspire to be like (another celebrity).

Published by Twindaddy

Sometimes funny. Sometimes serious. Always genuine.

39 thoughts on “Mad Libbed: Remembering Joe Delaney”

  1. (date)1-20-69
    (number)69
    (verb – past tense) choked
    (place) lake titicaca
    (celebrity) Yahoo Serious
    (profession) prostitute
    (position – any sport) Tight End
    (verb – past tense) masturbated
    (adjective) sexy
    (adjective)horny
    (number)120
    (place) the Y
    (verb ending in -ing) ejaculating
    (number) -69
    (liquid) diarrhea
    (adjective) aroused
    (adjective) fucked up
    (verb) poop
    (noun) butt plug
    (verb) insert
    (verb – past tense) spanked
    (adjective) shitty
    (plural noun) hobos
    (adjective) diseased
    (plural noun) assholes
    (profession) proctologist
    (another celebrity) Carrot Top

    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until 1-20-69. I was only 69 when Joe Delaney choked away.

    I was making one of my daily stops at Lake Titicaca when I saw that Yahoo Serious (the prostitute of the site) had named his annual award for Tight Ends after Joe Delaney.

    I masturbated on the link provided in the article to find out what was so sexy about this man. Well, it’s really quite horny. About 120 years removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at the Y ejaculating. -69 kids were circumsizing in a pit of diarrhea and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of diarrhea to help. Pretty aroused, right?

    That’s not the fucked up part. The fucked up part is that Joe didn’t know how to poop. He’d never stepped foot into any kind of diarrhea, except for a butt plug, up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to insert one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys spanked.

    As shitty as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are hobos out there who are diseased people and suitable assholes. Next time you’re reading about another proctologist getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every proctologist should aspire to be like Carrot Top.

    Like

    Reply

  2. “Every proctologist should aspire to be like Carrot Top.”

    You should totally add that as a tag, because that’s a sentence that needs to surface if someone is Googling either proctologist or Carrot Top.

    Like

    Reply

  3. (date) 02-14-13
    (number) 778
    (verb – past tense) fell
    (place) under a tree
    (celebrity) Ben Affleck
    (profession) librarian
    (position – any sport – plural) linebackers
    (verb – past tense) wept
    (adjective) cheesy
    (adjective) tasty
    (number) 42
    (place) shower
    (verb ending in -ing) swimming
    (number) 256
    (verb ending in -ing) skydiving
    (liquid) vodka
    (adjective) round
    (adjective) fluffy
    (verb) sleep
    (noun) shoe
    (verb) type
    (verb – past tense) sat
    (adjective) loud
    (plural noun) cupcakes
    (adjective) tart
    (plural noun) books
    (profession) news anchor
    (another celebrity) julia roberts

    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until 02-14-13. I was only 778 when Joe Delaney fell away.

    I was making one of my daily stops under a tree when I saw that Ben Affleck (the librarian of the site) had named his annual award for linebackers after Joe Delaney.

    I wept on the link provided in the article to find out what was so cheesy about this man. Well, it’s really quite tasty. About 42 years removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at a shower swimming. 256 kids were skydiving in a pit of vodka and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of vodka to help. Pretty round, right?

    That’s not the fluffy part. The fluffy part is that Joe didn’t know how to sleep. He’d never stepped foot into any kind of vodka, except for a shoe, up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to type one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys sat.

    As loud as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are cupcakes out there who are tart people and suitable books. Next time you’re reading about another news anchor getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every news anchor should aspire to be like Julia Roberts.

    Like

    Reply

  4. (date) September 7, 1774

    (number) π
    
(verb – past tense) blasted
    
(place) the moon
    
(celebrity) Ghostface Killah

    (profession) hairstylist
    (position – any sport – plural) left wings
    
(verb – past tense) assaulted

    (adjective) flammable
    
(adjective) explosive

    (number) 4,693
    
(place) Lebanon, Kansas
    
(verb ending in -ing) snowballing

    (number) 794

    (verb ending in -ing) legalizing
    
(liquid) liquid nitrogen

    (adjective) dangerous
    (adjective) flagrant

    (verb) unravel

    (noun) flibbertigibbet

    (verb) submerge
    
(verb – past tense) sold

    (adjective) pungent

    (plural noun) pop-up books
    
(adjective) smiting
    
(plural noun) napkins
    
(profession) clown
    
(another celebrity) Barbra Streisand

    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until September 7, 1774. I was only π [Editor’s note: well played, Goldy] when Joe Delaney blasted away.

    I was making one of my daily stops at the moon when I saw that Ghostface Killah (the hairstylist of the site) had named his annual award for left wings after Joe Delaney.

    I assaulted on the link provided in the article to find out what was so flammable about this man. Well, it’s really quite explosive
. About 4,693 years removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at Lebanon, Kansas snowballing
. 794
 kids were legalizing in a pit of liquid nitrogen
 and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of liquid nitrogen
 to help. Pretty dangerous, right?

    That’s not the flagrant
 part. The flagrant
 part is that Joe didn’t know how to unravel
. He’d never stepped foot into any kind of liquid nitrogen
, except for a flibbertigibbet
, up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to submerge one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys sold
.

    As pungent
 as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are pop-up books out there who are smiting people and suitable napkins. Next time you’re reading about another clown getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every clown should aspire to be like Barbra Streisand.

    Like

    Reply

  5. (1975)
    (17)
    (graduated)
    (college)
    (Mariah Carey)
    (Singer)
    (First basemen)
    (ran)
    (quickly)
    (effortlessly)
    (2)
    (pond)
    (drifting)
    (3)
    (pouring)
    (water)
    (tall)
    (sloping)
    (bending)
    (tree)
    (crept)
    (moved)
    (slimy)
    (snails)
    (slithering slowly)
    (snakes)
    (Singer)
    (Bob Dillon)

    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until 1975. I was only 17 when Joe Delaney graduated away.

    I was making one of my daily stops at college when I saw that Mariah Carey (the Singer of the site) had named his annual award for First basemen after Joe Delaney.

    I ran on the link provided in the article to find out what was so quickly about this man. Well, it’s really quite effortlessly. About 2 years removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at a pond drifting. 3 kids were pouring in a pit of water and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of water to help. Pretty tall, right?

    That’s not the sloping part. The sloping part is that Joe didn’t know how to bend. He’d never stepped foot into any kind of water, except for a tree, up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to creep one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys moved.

    As slimy as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are snails out there who are slithering slowly people and suitable snakes. Next time you’re reading about another Singer getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every Singer should aspire to be like Bob Dillon.

    Like

    Reply

  6. (date) May 3, 1659
    (number) 9,562
    (verb – past tense) Gulped
    (place) Wichita
    (celebrity) Oprah
    (profession) Street walker
    (position – any sport – plural) Opposite hitter
    (verb – past tense) Obstructed
    (adjective) blithe
    (adjective) Hairy
    (number) 298
    (place) Omaha
    (verb ending in -ing) Plunging
    (number) 3
    (verb ending in -ing) Slapping
    (liquid) Hot wax
    (adjective) Sticky
    (adjective) Gassy
    (verb) Rim
    (noun) Nun
    (verb) Slip
    (verb – past tense) Swallowed
    (adjective) Saucy
    (plural noun) Intestines
    (adjective) Fetid
    (plural noun) Blubbers
    (profession) Chicken Inseminatior
    (another celebrity) Mariah Carey

    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until May 3, 1659. I was only 9,562 when Joe Delaney gulped away.

    I was making one of my daily stops at Wichita when I saw that Oprah (the Street walker of the site) had named his annual award for Opposite hitters after Joe Delaney.

    I Obstructed on the link provided in the article to find out what was so blithe about this man. Well, it’s really quite Hairy. About 298 years removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at Omaha Plunging. 3 kids were Slapping in a pit of Hot wax and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of Hot wax to help. Pretty Sticky, right?

    That’s not the Gassy part. The Gassy part is that Joe didn’t know how to Rim. He’d never stepped foot into any kind of Hot wax, except for a Nun, up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to Slip one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys Swallowed.

    As Saucy as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are Intestines out there who are Fetid people and suitable Blubbers. Next time you’re reading about another Chicken Inseminatior getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every Chicken Inseminatior should aspire to be like Mariah Carey.

    Like

    Reply

  7. July 27th 2013
    19
    farted
    the evil tunnel of doom
    William Shatner
    Professional Shit disturber
    Wingman
    Removed
    aromatic
    sparkling
    42
    Betelgeuse
    Swimming
    3
    whacking
    Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster
    chewy
    hairy
    dance
    hippopotamus
    ate
    disconnected
    quiet
    moose
    slicing
    teeth
    Sheep Herder
    Conan the Barbarian

    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until July 27th 2013. I was only 19 when Joe Delaney farted away.

    I was making one of my daily stops at the evil tunnel of doom when I saw that William Shatner (the Professional Shit disturber of the site) had named his annual award for Wingman after Joe Delaney.

    I Removed on the link provided in the article to find out what was so aromatic about this man. Well, it’s really quite sparkling. About 42 years removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at a Betelgeuse Swimming. 3 kids were whacking in a pit of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster to help. Pretty chewy, right?

    That’s not the hairy part. The hairy part is that Joe didn’t know how to dance. He’d never stepped foot into any kind of Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, except for a hippopotamus, up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to eat one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys disconnected.

    As quiet as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are moose out there who are slicing people and suitable teeth. Next time you’re reading about another Sheep Herder getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every Sheep Herder should aspire to be like Conan the Barbarian.

    Like

    Reply

  8. (date) October 31st, 1991
    (number) 7
    (verb – past tense) drowned
    (place) Jacksonville, Florida
    (celebrity) Carrot Top
    (profession) dirt bike racer
    (position – any sport – plural) lacrosse
    (verb – past tense) loved
    (adjective) amazing
    (adjective) loony
    (number) 43
    (place) San Diego, California
    (verb ending in -ing) chasing
    (number) 16
    (verb ending in -ing) licking
    (liquid) acid
    (adjective) colorful
    (adjective) sparkly
    (verb) run
    (noun) beach
    (verb) kiss
    (verb – past tense) fucked
    (adjective) gruesome
    (plural noun) quesadillas
    (adjective) frightening
    (plural noun) Volkswagens
    (profession) dump truck driver
    (another celebrity) Simon Cowell

    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until October 31st, 1991. I was only 7 when Joe Delaney drowned away.

    I was making one of my daily stops at Jacksonville, Florida when I saw that Carrot Top (the dirt bike racer of the site) had named his annual award for lacrosse after Joe Delaney.

    I loved on the link provided in the article to find out what was so amazing about this man. Well, it’s really quite loony. About 43 years removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at San Diego, California chasing. 16 kids were licking in a pit of acid and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of acid to help. Pretty colorful, right?

    That’s not the sparkly part. The sparkly part is that Joe didn’t know how to run. He’d never stepped foot into any kind of acid, except for a beach, up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to kiss one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys fucked.

    As gruesome as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are quesadillas out there who are frightening people and suitable Volkswagens. Next time you’re reading about another dump truck driver getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every dump truck driver should aspire to be like Simon Cowell.

    Like

    Reply

  11. Hey, you were sainted by a pretty rockin mama, so I thought I’d say hi. I’ve seen your name on a few other blogs, and I finally decided to meet you, mr. twindaddy. You seem just as wonderful as I thought you might be. 🙂

    (date) July 27, 2007
    (number) 14
    (verb – past tense) stuffed
    (place) Vermont
    (celebrity) Stephen King
    (profession) seamstress
    (position – any sport – plural) goalies
    (verb – past tense) laughed
    (adjective) nasty
    (adjective) dainty
    (number) 42
    (place) Antarctica
    (verb ending in -ing) falling
    (number) 893
    (verb ending in -ing) galloping
    (liquid) vodka
    (adjective) bumpy
    (adjective) corrosive
    (verb) chant
    (noun) toothbrush
    (verb) cut
    (verb – past tense) melted
    (adjective) astronomical
    (plural noun) seahorses
    (adjective) polka-dotted
    (plural noun) pirates
    (profession) pilot
    (another celebrity) Michael Jackson

    Like

    Reply

  12. (date) March 13th, 1555
    (number) 666
    (verb – past tense) barfed
    (place) Horneytown, NC
    (celebrity) Bill Nye the Science Guy
    (profession) burlesque dancer
    (position – any sport – plural) linebackers
    (verb – past tense) blasted
    (adjective) gooey
    (adjective) horsy
    (number) 4576293
    (place) Erect, NC
    (verb ending in -ing) sexting
    (number) 7
    (verb ending in -ing) pushing
    (liquid) pee
    (adjective) jubilant
    (adjective) steamy
    (verb)
    (noun) bladder
    (verb) shot
    (verb – past tense) frolicked
    (adjective) sexy
    (plural noun) feces
    (adjective) hexagonal
    (plural noun) colonoscopies
    (profession) sewage plant worker
    (another celebrity) Snooki

    Like

    Reply

  13. I tried this without looking at the story and got interesting results.
    (date) 02/01/2013
    (number) 42
    (verb – past tense) slipped
    (place) The moon
    (celebrity) Clint Eastwood
    (profession) Zoologist
    (position – any sport – plural) Tight Ends
    (verb – past tense) Ran
    (adjective) Slimy
    (adjective) Fatty
    (number) 96
    (place) The Back Ally
    (verb ending in -ing) slapping
    (number) 64
    (verb ending in -ing) Pooping
    (liquid) beer
    (adjective) Nutty
    (adjective) Yummy
    (verb) Slide
    (noun) rock
    (verb) Hit
    (verb – past tense) jerked
    (adjective) sore
    (plural noun) balls
    (adjective) Mammoth
    (plural noun) sacks
    (profession) Taxidermist
    (another celebrity) Scott Bakula
    I had never heard of Joe Delaney until (02/01/2013). I was only (42) when Joe Delaney (slipped) away.
    I was making one of my daily stops at (the Moon) when I saw that (Clint Eastwood) (the (Zoologist) of the site) had named his annual award for (Tight Ends) after Joe Delaney.
    I (Ran) on the link provided in the article to find out what was so (Slimy) about this man. Well, it’s really quite (fatty). About (96) year(s) removed from a Pro-Bowl rookie season, Joe was at (a) (back ally) (slapping). (64) kids were (pooping) in a pit of (beer) and started to drown. Joe heard their cries and rushed into the pit of (beer) to help. Pretty (nutty), right?
    That’s not the (yummy) part. The (yummy) part is that Joe didn’t know how to (slide). He’d never stepped foot into any kind of (beer), except for a (rock), up to that point in his life. Unfortunately, Joe was only able to (hit) one of the boys. Joe and the other two boys (jerked).
    As (sore) as that event was, it’s refreshing to know that there are (balls out there who are (mammoth) people and suitable (sacks). Next time you’re reading about another (taxidermist) getting busted for a DUI, remember Joe. Every (taxidermist) should aspire to be like (Scott Bakula).

    Like

    Reply

Deposit 2 cents here