I don’t talk much about my job here, but I work in Information Technology.  Specifically, I repair computers.  I get to tear them apart, replace what’s broken, and put them back together.  It’s not a glamorous job, but I like it.

Like any other job, it certainly has its ups and downs, and its customer service fails.

Last week one of our super important (in his own mind, anyhow) financial guys decided to dump an entire cup of coffee on his laptop.  Nice.  This particular sales guy seems to think he’s important and made a big ruckus about getting his machine fixed even before he sent it in for repair.  I was told by my supervisor to order replacement parts for the machine before I had even had a chance to examine it and determine which parts needed to be replaced.  Obviously, for the sake of keeping my job, I did so.

Smooth, man. Smooth.

The next day I received the parts, but not the laptop.  This guy was very obviously in a hurry to have it fixed.  I didn’t receive the laptop until the next day, two days after I had been instructed to order the parts so I could have it back to him as soon as possible.  Nice.  I had ordered a new keyboard, motherboard, and top cover (the thing with the touchpad built into it) for the laptop.

I disassembled (NO DISASSEMBLE NUMBER 5!) the machine and put all the replacement parts in it.  I plugged it in and fired it up.  The machine turned on, the fan started spinning, and all the lights blinked, but there was no video on the screen.  I wondered if maybe the guy had somehow damaged the LCD screen so I connected an external monitor to the laptop.  Still no video.  So I docked the laptop and tried to see if I could get video that way.  Same result.  They sent me a defective motherboard.  It happens occasionally.  No biggie.

I ordered another motherboard and sent the defective one back.  The next day I received the new motherboard and installed it…only to have the same issue.  Now I’m thinking something else is wrong.  Maybe the processor is bad.  Maybe the memory is bad.  Perhaps something else got fried.  I tried replacing each part individually and nothing changed.  I grabbed another laptop of the same make and model and ripped it apart.  I took the motherboard from it and put it in the system in question using all of the parts that came with it.  It fired right up.  With video.  So I had been sent a defective motherboard a second time.  Nice.  That has never happened to me before.

I ordered a third motherboard for the laptop, this time directly from the manufacturer.  I plugged it in, powered it on, and wa-la!  Smoke began spewing from it.  I couldn’t contain my laughter.  The room filled with my cacophonous guffaws.  And, you know, smoke.

At that point we decided the laptop was not worth the effort.  We pitched it and gave the guy a different laptop.  More than a week after he destroyed it.

So let this be a lesson to you.  Be careful with food and drink around your laptops, folks.  It’s not always an easy task to put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Outtakes:

  • When searching for Humpty Dumpty pictures I misspelled Humpty to humpy.  And I laughed.
  • Baby C is clumping around the bedroom with his mom’s shoes on.  Hilarious.
  • Watched multiple clips from Short Circuit instead of writing this post.  Time well spent.
  • Typed talk instead of task in that last sentence when writing this originally.  That  looked pretty dumb.
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